The Nuzlocke Wars Book 1: Fire Red
by Detr01tLolcat
Summary: Lolcat, a Trainer from the little-known town of Pallet, traverses the expansive Kanto region chasing the ultimate goal: the Pokemon League Championship. However, there's more at work: Team Rocket is planning a Kanto region takeover! Can Lolcat's Pokemon survive the onslaught of Trainers, Rockets, and the Gym Leaders? And that's just the beginning... (Part 1 of a planned series)
1. Prologue-The First of Many Pokemon

I do not own Pokemon in any way, shape, or form. This story is simply for entertainment purposes.

**Prologue: The First of Many Pokemon**

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Thousands of big-eyed Trainers pass through Pallet Town every year with their first Pokèmon in tow. Pallet Town is every Trainer's beginning; it's the first stepping stone on every thousand-mile trek to the Indigo Plateau. But what is so special about the Plateau? After all, it's just an uninhabited pocket of land resting precariously over a few caves five miles northwest of Pallet; what could possibly be so sacrosanct about such a pedestrian place? It's because the Indigo Plateau houses a lone building where the greatest battles mankind will ever see take place. Millions of young boys and girls have dared set foot on the grassy Route 1, eyes fixed on the ultimate prize: to battle for the Pokèmon League Championship atop the Indigo Plateau. Of course, one cannot simply pick up a raw Bulbasaur, slay a few Rattatas along Route 1 and arrive at the Plateau in a heartbeat. The Indigo Plateau is guarded by eight locks, and each one of the keys is scattered on a different corner of the eclectic country known as Kanto. It takes eight Gym Badges to break the seal guarding Pokèmon's highest authority, with each badge guarded by a master of a different element.

Pallet Town is significant because of the Oak Pokèmon Laboratory, a Pokèmon research facility managed by Samuel Oak: the most famous Pokèmon Professor on the planet. During his tenure at Kanto University, Oak developed the Pokèdex, a handheld electronic tool for recording and documenting Pokèmon. The rights to the Kanto Pokèdex were almost immediately bought by the Kanto Pokèmon League for millions of PokèDollars, and before long, every aspiring Champion began their journey with a Pokèdex as well as a starter Pokèmon. Wealthy enough to retire, Oak built his own research laboratory in Pallet Town and before long, Pallet became the de facto town for Trainers to begin their journey.

But enough history. This is a story about a Trainer named Lolcat. This Trainer has lived in Pallet Town all sixteen years of his life, but one day felt bidden to take the Pokèmon League challenge. After taking a few classes at Pallet Pokèmon Academy, Lolcat began his journey at Oak Pokèmon Laboratory… … …

A thin, wiry teenager slipped through the double doors to Oak's Laboratory. The boy was not physically impressive; he stood an unremarkable five foot ten and couldn't have weighed more than 125 pounds. He had short, brown hair and rather pale skin. He was intelligent, though, seeing as he passed the Pallet Pokèmon Academy's basic courses in little more than three months. Oak stood in the center of the expansive laboratory in front of three closed Pokè Balls. Reading the same scripted speech he tells every new Trainer, Oak began:

"Hello there! Glad to meet you. Welcome to the world of Pokèmon. My name is Oak. People refer to me as the Pokèmon Professor. This world is inhabited far and wide by creatures called Pokèmon. People use Pokèmon as pets, battle them, and as for myself...I study them for a living. So, Lolcat, tell me about yourself."

Lolcat responds, "My name is Lolcat. I don't want you to embarrass yourself and ask me if I'm a boy or girl, so I'll just say I'm a boy and we can move on."

"Thank you.", replies Oak, "Let me introduce you to my grandson, who is also beginning his journey today. His name is Blue."

Blue Oak didn't need any introduction, as everyone in Pallet knew who the boy was. Blue had inherited many of the genes that made his grandfather the most famous man in Kanto, as he has been aiding his grandfather in his research for almost half a decade. Blue was born one year after Lolcat, but had been preparing for his journey ever since he could pick up a Pokèball. Although Blue had no Pokèmon to his name as only registered Trainers could legally possess Pokèmon, he could rattle off the names, common moves, and just about any random fact about just about any Pokèmon you can name. Blue looked almost like a palette swap of Lolcat, he was an equally tall, equally thin boy but with dirty blond hair and a face reflecting the fact that he's two years Lolcat's junior. While Lolcat was calm and a bit timid, Blue is defined by his arrogance and hotheadedness.

Oak continued with the introduction: "As you both know, you receive one Pokèmon to begin your journey. Remember that this is all you receive, and if this Pokèmon were to pass away before you catch any new ones your journey will end just as quickly as it began. Now, as for the Pokèmon, let's see what we have for you…"

Oak stepped toward his desk and picked up three Pokè Balls. He clicked the button on the first one, releasing a two-foot tall blue turtle with a red shell. The second one housed a little salamander with a flame on its tail, and the third one had a four-legged dinosaur with a grotesque flower on its back.

"Lolcat, you're the older Trainer, so seniority dictates you get the first pick. Or at least that's what my grandson said. How nice of him to let you go first, huh, Lolcat?"

Realizing the blatantly obvious trap that Blue set and that Blue would just pick the Pokèmon with the advantage over Lolcat's, Lolcat simply chose the Pokèmon he liked the most.

"Give me Squirtle, the Water Pokèmon."

Blue haughtily walked to the desk and selected Bulbasaur and Oak offered some closing remarks. Inspecting his Pokèmon, Lolcat saw that his Squirtle had a rather boring Quirky nature with a saddening Attack stat.

Lolcat thanked the Professor and strode out of Oak's machine-filled laboratory…or that's what he would have done if an annoying voice hadn't begun ringing in his ear.

"Hey, Lolcat! Your Pokèmon is so bad!It's like a turtle, but worse and stuff! Actually, what is a turtle? Why do we call it a turtle? It's a Squirtle because all it can say is Squirtle! Regardless, my bulbous sore will destroy you!", announced the spiky-haired Trainer in the room.

"Uh, your _what_?"

"Shut up, Lolcat! You only have that Squirtle because you're lucky enough to be friends with my grandpa! I'll put your stupid Squirtle in its place!"

"Uh…I have this Squirtle because I registered to be a Trainer. I've never seen your grandfather in my life before today…"

Blue countered Lolcat's cool logic with a temper tantrum: "Ugh you loser just freaking battle me! I'll wreck your dumb Squirtle so fast you'll be sorry!"

"Uh, dude. We're in a lab filled with numerous million- Pokèdollar machines. Do you really want to have our Pokèmon smash into each other right here…"

"You scaredy-Meowth, you know that if two Trainers lock eyes, it's a challenge to battle! You're legally obligated to battle me you coward!"

Although Lolcat was amused at Blue invoking a two-hundred year old law that was passed to curb the Pokèmon population back during the Great Rattata Outbreak of 1811, nobody had bothered to repeal it so Blue's challenge was valid. Lolcat tossed his only Pokè Ball into the air and released Squirtle to match Bulbasaur.

Squirtle leads off with a Tackle to hit the Bulbasaur, and Bulbasaur retaliates with a Tackle. Squirtle Tail Whips to soften the dino, and Bulbasaur Tackles again. The two beasts tackle again, with Squirtle at a slight disadvantage. Squirtle tackles again, but misses his target, and Bulbasaur lands another hit. Bulbasaur has a little over half his health, and Squirtle has just over one-third The two beasts collide a second time, and Squirtle takes a turn for the red. However, one more swift Tackle smites the 'Saur and seals the fight for Lolcat.

After an intentionally poorly commentated battle, Blue storms off towards Oak's healing machine to protect his Bulbasaur from further harm. Lolcat heads home to heal Squirtle's wounds, as tomorrow…

The Nuzlocke Challenge begins.

**End of Prologue**

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Thank you all for reading this chapter. This is more of a prologue, so don't worry, the action's going to pick up sooner than later! Also, this is probably going to be the shortest chapter. I intend for this story to have about 20 chapters total, and hopefully this will turn into a series! Please R&R this and future chapters :D

The rules for this Nuzlocke are:

1. You can only catch the first Pokemon in each Route/cave/area, no exceptions.

2. If a Pokemon faints, it must be released.

3. No items can be used with the exception of Key Items, PokeBalls, hold items, and TMs/HMs. Basically nothing that goes in the "Items" pouch of the Bag is legal, but other items are.

4. There won't be any trades from other games or anything.

5. Battle style is "set", so no free switching!

6. No Legendary Pokemon can be used in the challenge.


	2. Part 1- A Parcel for the Professor

I do not own Pokemon. This story is simply for entertainment purposes.

Now that the boring prologue is over, let's begin the story in earnest!

Part 1:**A Parcel for the Professor**

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After Blue stormed out of the Laboratory, Lolcat spoke with Professor Oak:

"So, Professor. Now that I've gotten my first Pokemon, what am I supposed to do?"

Oak replied, "Whatever you want, Lolcat. You're a Trainer now. You're legally allowed to travel wherever you want, as long as you stay away from Area 51. Trust me, you don't want to know what happened to my _other_ grandson. The PokeGovernment would kill me if I told you what happened to him..."

Lolcat exits the Laboratory and heads north through Pallet Town, ready to walk through Route 1 by himself for the first time. Right outside of Pallet Town is a barrier of tall grass, and Lolcat waited to see his first wild Pokemon. He walks northward and westward, seeing a sign that directed him towards Viridian City to the north. About halfway down the sunny, grassy trail, Lolcat encounters his first wild Pokemon. Squirtle entered his first battle against a wild Pokemon and knocked out the Pidgey with three Tackles. After the bout, Lolcat and Squirtle continued walking down the dusty trail until they encounter another field of grass. Another Pokemon ambushed him, but it was quickly dispatched by Squirtle's Tackles. Squirtle also piceds up Bubble on the level-up.

After finishing that harrowing trek, the man and beast enter Viridian City, a medium-sized city about twice the size of Pallet Town with three times as many buildings. After reading a Trainer Tips sign giving a short lesson on PP, Lolcat entered the city from the south, seeing if all the areas described in school were actually there. There was a Gym, Pokemon Center, Pokemon Mart, but no XXX Strip Club. It seemed that Oak stretched the truth about that last building. Lolcat remembered the first rule of entering a new town: to heal up at the Pokemon Center before exploring. After that, Lolcat walked over to the second most important building, the Pokemon Mart, which sells Pokeballs, TMs, and Stones. Unfortunately, Viridian's Market did not carry any of those. Once safely inside the building, Lolcat was immediately greeted by the clerk.

"Yo! Kid! You from Pallet Town? 'Cuz we ain't a real fan a' Pallet Town around here!"

"No," Lolcat lied, using his best Viridian City accent, "I'm from Pewter City. I'm stoppin' here to get some stuff so I can go rough up sum' Pallet Town punks, you kno?"

"Yeah, I knoze! Dem Palit kweerz dink dat dey cin jess come heer an' ruff us up! Imma sick a dis crap! U no da old sciencey tree name guy in da fancy Pallet lab? Yeah, dat foo' orda a package from the Viridian shop dat I run, an' he gonna pick it up taday! Wutz you say I give it ta you and you put it somewere safe, ya kno? Somewere where da Oak guy won't find it?"

"Yeah, yeah! I knoze! Whatcha say I take da package, and put it wear da Prof wont find it! Dat'll ruff him real good! An' later we watch _The Real Housewives of Viridian City_ lateh, eh?!"

"I like da way u think, man! Hear, take da packige!"

The guido handed the parcel to Lolcat, who plans to give it right to Professor Oak. Lolcat wanders down Viridian's streets until Route 1 reenters Lolcat's view. On the route, Lolcat and Squirtle battled a Rattata and Pidgey before reentering Pallet Town. After a short walk down Pallet Town's main street, Lolcat finds Professor Oak's Lab dominating the city's skyline. Entering the Lab, Lolcat sees the usual aides working with Oak on his latest research project. Oak usually doesn't tell younger Trainers about his plans, as he wants to keep them secret until he's ready to publicly announce his results. After observing the laboratory, Lolcat speaks to the Professor.

"Professor Oak, I picked up your package from the guido in Viridian City."

"Oh, thanks, Lolcat. That was nice of you, that parcel will help in my latest project. Now, Lolcat, I wish to see your Squirtle. I know it's only been yours for a few days, but I would like to see its condition."

Lolcat releases Squirtle from its Pokeball, and Oak begins examining its physique and emotional health.

"Hmm...this Squirtle is doing very well. I'm not going to bog you down by running any tests or anything, but a superficial glance indicates that this Squirtle has already begun to develop a bond with you. I see it's also gained a pair of levels. Now, I wanted to see both you and my grandson, so Blue should be joining you momentarily."

"Yo, Gramps! What'd you call me here for?", announced Blue, rushing into the lab.

"Blue, Lolcat, I would like to personally inform you of my current research project. As you probably know, I very rarely let anyone outside the scientific community know about my research, much less beginning Trainers. However, this project is too great for one Professor to undertake. Not even my aides can finish or even make progress on this project. It's called Project Pokedex. Now, I'm attempting something revolutionary here: the goal is to upload onto these Pokedexes comprehensive data on all one-hundred and fifty-one Pokemon. First, I should provide some background. For decades, humans have captured, trained, and studied Pokemon., amassing countless data concerning the creatures. Now, students, Trainers, Professors, Rangers, and every other field professional do not have a portable reference material to quickly and accurately recount that data. Although the Pokedex has been in circulation for nearly two decades, no Trainer has captured and recorded every Pokemon indigenous to Kanto. That is what Project Pokedex strives to do. The Pokedex is a portable device that immediately scans a Pokemon in the field with infrared sensors to detect the species, then recalls from a database of cursory information to provide a brief description of the Pokemon, much like a field guide for beginners. However, this Pokedex contains smart software that will be able to provide a comprehensive analysis of any domesticated Pokemon. It has the sensors, but not the data to recall. I want the two of you to capture one of every species of Pokemon, thus completing the Pokedex. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Professor", announced Lolcat.

"tl;dr", announced the illustrious, brilliant Blue Oak.

"Good. Take these with you.", Oak said, handing the two prototype Pokedexes and five Pokeballs each to Lolcat and Blue.

"Ha! I got a Pokedex! You won't be necessary for this, Lolcat. I'll catch every Pokemon known to Kanto before you get halfway there!", stated Blue.

Lolcat exited the Laboratory and entered Blue's house, as Blue's hot sister has a Town Map. She hands the map over to the Trainer and Lolcat thanks her, unfortunately not picking up a phone number. After stopping at home to heal up Squirtle, Lolcat sprints back onto the beaten trail of Route 1, smiting Pidgey and Rattata along the way. After an uneventful trek to Viridian City, Lolcat realizes that the road branches two ways, westward and northward. Not knowing the way around, Lolcat takes the western path, also known as Route 22. Wild Pokemon populate the tall grass on this Route, so Lolcat can double his team's size. The odds for each Pokemon:

Mankey, 45%  
Rattata, 45%  
Spearow, 10%

A rare Spearow emerged from the thick, green grass, but it was a paltry level 3. Not wanting to waste it in one shot, Lolcat shoots off a Poke Ball hoping for a quick capture, but it doesn't even shake before releasing the bird, who strikes Squirtle with a Peck attack. Knowing he needs to hurt the little bird ,Squirlte fires a bevy of blue bubbles at Spearow. The attack hits for moderate damage, knocking the bird's health to half its maximum. Although the bird burst out of Lolcat's second Ball, the third time was indeed the charm and Spearow became the second member of Lolcat's team. The next couple days of Lolcat's journey were spent in the wilderness of Route 22 where Lolcat ordered his two sluggers to knock out any Pokemon they could get their hands on. One mountain of dead Rattata, Pidgey, and Spearow later, Lolcat's two warriors found themselves on Level 9. However, one day while training up the team, a haughty, aloof voice rang in Lolcat's ears…

_"Hey, Lolcat, still lagging back here? _ _Typical, you always seem to be two steps behind me!"_

The painfully annoying voice belonged to the illustrious Blue Oak, who wasted little time invoking the Pokemon Population Control Act of 1813 to begin his second battle with Lolcat in four days.

Blue was the master of a Pidgey and his Bulbasaur, so Lolcat led the battle with Squirtle who rammed Pidgey with his hard head despite the effects of Sand-attack in his eyes. After a short while, Squirtle felled the Pidgey who was quickly replaced by Bulbasaur. Obviously, no Squirtle ever wants to trade punches with an equally-leveled Bulbsaur, so Lolcat withdrew the weary turtle and sent his little brown bombshell into its first Trainer battle. Spearow flew into the sky and rammed his beak into Bulbasaur's green body. Bulbasaur, noticeably weakened, fired off a Vine Whip that failed to faze Spearow. A final Peck attack ended the battle as quickly as it began.

_"You'll pay for this, Lolcat! I'm going to be the Champion one day; I'll build the best team ever seen on this planet and humiliate you! Just you wait!"_

Lolcat snickered to himself as to how Professor Oak's genes produced such a fool, but wasted little time checking into the Viridian Pokemon Center for the night.

**End of Part 1**

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Well, that's the end of this chapter. Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for the next chapter of the story. The story's been pretty lighthearted so far, but it'll get much more serious when the game picks up.

On the next chapter of The Nuzlocke Wars: Fire Red!

_...The man next to him explains that the Gym Leader disappeared months ago..._

_...Lolcat marches up to the Pewter City Gym, ready to take on the first of eight Gym Leaders..._

_..."I'm going to lead with the team's newest member..."_

Will Squirtle and Spearow survive the venomous Viridian Forest? Can Brock end Lolcat's challenge before it begins? Find this out and more in Chapter Two!


	3. Part 2- Rocking Brock!

I do not own Pokemon. This story is simply for entertainment purposes.

**Part Two: Rocking Brock!**

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After a close run in with his rival, Lolcat rushes back down Route 22 and into Viridian City to heal his Squirtle and Spearow. After visiting the Pokemon Center, Lolcat explores the northern half of Viridian City, but an old man stops him in the center of town.

"Yo, red hat! Wacchu doin' in da nort haff uh town!", greets the old timer.

After deciphering the old nutcase's New Jersey accent, Lolcat formulates a response that wouldn't brand him as a "Palletfag".

"Dawg, i jus' be wawkin down da street when a stupid canoley like you be talkin' to me!", eloquently replies Lolcat.

"So, wise guy, lemme see what you gots on ya'!"

After searching Lolcat's person for anything of interest, the man starts fidgeting with Lolcat's Pokedex, saying,

"What's a this? Is it da new fanschy Eye-Phone from da Apple place? Hm, naw, my buddy Mardy's got one a dhose an' it don' look a thing like dis fanschy ding! Hmm...is it wan a dhose Pokey-Deckses that da Oak guy in Pallet Town has? Cuz we don't take kindly to da Pallet Town folks here in Viridian City!"

Remembering his conversation with the equally inept shopkeeper, Lolcat devises a similar response to the man's statement

"Yeah, it iz! I nabbed it off da stupi' Professa when he was owf doin' sum stupi' Pallet Town thing!"

Impressed, the man replies, "Nice, bro! Way ta show da Palletfags wat da best city in Kanto is, Viridian City! Ey, bro! You know how ta catch a Pokey-mon? Lemme sho' ya!"

A battle ensues between the older guido and a Weedle. The man throws a Pokey-Ball (as he calls it) and captures it. He then throws the Weedle back into the wild as folks from Joyzee don't take kindly to bugs.

"Ya see, bro! It'z dat eazy!"

After bragging in his annoying accent about his ability to capture a small bug, the old man hands Lolcat a Teachy TV, a small portable television featuring some annoying fellow explaining very obvious facts about Pokemon. Lolcat proceeds to the northeastern side of Viridian City, seeing the lone building dominating the district: The Viridian City Pokemon Gymnasium. Lolcat steps up to the door, seeing the first step to the Pokemon League right before his eyes. Lolcat places his hand on the door, and...

it doesn't budge.

"Heh, you must not be from around these parts. Everyone knows that the Viridian Gym's been closed for three months ever since Geo left."

Lolcat's head turned and his eyes focused on a blue-uniformed, somewhat rotund man standing in front of the Gym door.

"Oh. I didn't know that. By the way, you can speak in complete sentences so you must not be from around here either. You mind telling me where you're from?"

The bespectacled man responded: "I'm a Pokemon League referee. I officiate Gym matches and report match results to the Pokemon League HQ over at the Indigo Plateau. To remove bias, they don't let referees work in their home town. I'm from Fuchsia City down south, by the way."

The man's Fuchsia origins explain his proper English, but a more pressing issue entered Lolcat's mind:

"So, will this Gym be receiving a new Leader anytime soon? How can anyone collect all eight Badges without access to Viridian's Gym?"

The referee's face gained a puzzled look.

"Well, we've been vetting candidates ever since the last guy left, but there's nobody in Viridian City who can battle at a Gym Leader level. Hard to blame them since Viridian is surrounded by Level 5 Pidgeys and Spearows. Since the Pokemon League rules state that Gym Leaders have to live in their home town, we've been at a loss on how to fill the position. It's a real shame since our last Leader was by far the most feared Leader in Kanto. His battles drew crowds above ten thousand and local TV ratings went through the roof whenever Geo faced a challenger. He must have drawn in at least half a million Pokedollars per fight, so I guess he was wealthy enough to retire."

Geo was Viridian's previous Leader and one of the most famous Trainers in Kanto. His mastery of Ground-type Pokemon was unmatched, and he compiled a win-loss ratio of over 90%, by far the best in the country, during his tenure at the Viridian Gym. Geo assumed the Gym Leader role nine years ago, and since then Viridian City transformed from the city that housed the gates to the Pokemon League to the city that held the toughest Gym Leader in Kanto and possibly the world. Viridian's population doubled within a year, and within the decade doubled again. Of course, the people that immigrated to Viridian were your standard-fare bandwagon sports fans, and Viridian City's reputation as a quaint village was quickly erased as the most irascible Pokemon fans turned Viridian into a cesspool of self-entitled Geo fanatics.

Disappointed, Lolcat realizes that there's nothing else of importance in the city, so he enters Route 2 to the north. Per the rules, Lolcat is permitted to capture one Pokemon, the first one he sees. The possibilities are:

Pidgey: 45%  
Rattata: 45%  
Caterpie: 5%  
Weedle: 5%.

Honestly, any of them would be pretty good, though none of them can help against Brock in the near future... Raticate would do well for the beginning of the adventure since it gets Hyper Fang at level 13, but fate will decide who Lolcat's next teammate will be. Lolcat's shoe stepped into a shaking patch of grass and the Pokemon emerging from the foliage is…

PIDGEY! Though expected, Lolcat accepts the tiny bird and realizes that a Pidgeot in the future could benefit the team. Since Lolcat already has a Spearow, he decides to capture the Pidgey but hold it in the PC as a reserve if something goes horribly wrong. And since Kanto's infamous, venomous, Viridian Forest looms ahead of the Trainer, something will probably go wrong. Viridian Forest ends many a Trainer's journey before they begin, as the venomous Weedle and Kakuna delight in infecting baby Squirtle and Charmander with a Poison that tightens the Pokemon's blood vessels from within. Although Pokemon Centers can cure this Poison in a matter of minutes, all too often the Pokemon perishes long before even the fastest Trainer can rush it back to Viridian City.

Lolcat wanders into the forest and looks around. There are a few Youngsters battling Pokemon, but the forest was deathly quiet aside from that. The wild Pokemon silently hide in the tall grass. Standing in front of an unusually large tree was a lone Youngster warning Lolcat that there are numerous Bug Pokemon in the forest and that the boy's friends are raring to battle with their insect friends. Lolcat trudges through the knee-high grass until his leg brushes up against a slimy Bug Pokemon. Jumping back while releasing his Poke Ball, Lolcat sends his Squirtle to weaken the wild Caterpie for capture.

Since Caterpie lagged behind the rest of the group in level, Lolcat felt the need to grind the caterpillar slightly to Level 6 by having it single-handedly fell a Bug Catcher, an impressive feat for the team's newest member. After a short trip back to Viridian City, Lolcat, with his new team, battles the second Bug Catcher. Caterpie and Spearow take down the opposing trio, with no Poison hax at all! The most important part of the battle was Caterpie reaching its seventh level, which we all know means...METAPOD! METAAAA!

Since Tackle on Metapod ran out of PP, Lolcat switches to Squirtle and Spearow to uneventufully finish off the forest's wild Pokemon.

With half a full team intact, Lolcat steps out of the venomous forest's gate and into fresh air again, this time in Pewter City. Obviously, Lolcat heals his team at the Pokemon Center and samples the city's culture. Hopefully it won't be a city of brain-dead Viridianers. The town featured a museum on the other side of town and a Gym at the end of the circular main road. Though the Museum seemed interesting, the Official Pewter City Pokemon Gym drew Lolcat's attention like a moth to a flame.

However, Lolcat felt that he wasn't ready for the Gym yet, so he trained Squirtle a level and Metapod two, ensuring evolution for the latter.

With a Squirtle, a Spearow, and a Butterfree in tow, Lolcat marches on the Pewter City Gym, ready to take on the first of the eight Gym Leaders. Inside the Gym, Lolcat meets a rocky interior with no traps and only one Trainer inside. The unnamed Gym Leader stands at the back of the room. The tall, dark-skinned man declares to Lolcat, "Welcome, challenger, to the Pewter Gym! I assume you're here to challenge me for the BoulderBadge, correct?"

"Yes," replies Lolcat.

"Good! It's been two days since the last Trainer showed up! And he beat me, too, so I'm looking for revenge!"

Lolcat assumes that the Trainer was Blue. This means that Blue is probably halfway to Mt. Moon by now, a good day's hike ahead of Lolcat.

"HOWEVER!" cries the Leader, "To prove that you're worthy of the Pewter Gym Challenge, you must defeat one member of the Gym! Come forth, my apprentice!"

A young Camper steps out from behind the rocks. The Camper sent out a Geodude, and Lolcat countered with Spearow. Spearow retreats to Squirtle, who cleans up the Rock Pokemon. After Geodude's demise, the Camper tosses his second of two Pokeballs, this one containing a small mole. Lolcat remembers that this Pokemon is called Sandshrew. Since it is not a Rock-type Pokemon, Lolcat decides to bring out Spearow for the fight. However, the shrew used too many Defense Curls for Spearow to crack it, so Lolcat returns the bird for Squirtle again, who cleanly knocks out the small creature and ends the battle.

"Congrats, Trainer! You may go to the Pokemon Center to rest your pokemon! The match begins in thirty minutes, so use them wisely!"

After a short trip to the Center and a walk back to the Gym, Lolcat uses the final ten minutes to draw up the battle plans.

"Okay. This should be an easy fight. I'm going to lead with Butterfree who could use some experience, but I'm going to quickly withdraw her and switch in Squirtle. Squirtle should sweep Brock clean. If someone dies, which shouldn't happen, I'll switch back to Butterfree to finish it up. There shouldn't be any casualties, however. Got it? Break!"

Brock throws out a Geodude to start the match, and Lolcat counters with Butterfree as planned. Squirtle picks up Water Gun midway through the fight, facilitating the sweep even more. All in all, not a hard fight.

"I yield!" declares Brock. "It seems you won this battle, uhh, Lolcat, was it? As a result of your victory over the Pewter Gym, I confer onto you the official Pokemon League BoulderBadge. Its presence will inspire your Pokemon to reach new heights in battle! It also certifies you as one step closer to the Pokemon League Finals and, as an added bonus, lets you use the move Flash outside of battle. You also receive a small cash prize of one thousand four hundred Pokedollars and a Technical Machine! This TM contains the move Rock Tomb, a bone-crushing Rock attack that will always lower the foe's Speed. For a Trainer with only one Gym Badge, a move with this kind of power will go a long way! Beware, though, as you only get to use it once!"

Lolcat takes the small gray chip, cash prize, and disk in hand, thanks Brock for the battle, and wanders off towards the Pokemon Center knowing that he just took his first steps towards the Pokemon League Finals...

_To Be Continued..._

**End Of Part 2**

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Thank you for reading this chapter.

_Next time on the FireRed Nuzlocke Challenge!_

_Lolcat enters the grassy plains leading up to Mt. Moon, but makes a strange encounter within the vast cave!__  
__Lolcat's Pokemon continue evolving, making his team stronger than ever!__  
__And let's not forget a certain Trainer that we haven't seen since Part 1!_


	4. Part 3- First Encounter

I do not own Pokemon. This story is only for entertainment purposes.

Part Three: **First Encounter**

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Lolcat walks silently from Pewter Gym with first Badge in tow headed for the Pokemon Center. His Town Map notified him that the next destination was Mt. Moon, a solid day's hike from downtown Pewter. Since he couldn't reach Mt. Moon by sundown, Lolcat dedicated the rest of the day to scouring Route 3 and finding a fourth member for the team.

On the way out, Lolcat spies a Scientist in the distance. Knowing that they usually pack Electric types, Lolcat fears that he could lose a team member to the man if the lab coat wants to battle. The man locks eyes with Lolcat and begins to speak:

"Oh, Lolcat. I'm Professor Oak's Aide." Lolcat breathes a sigh of relief. "I came here to deliver a package to you from your mother. It better be worth it, as I was stung by a Weedle in Viridian Forest to get here!"

Lolcat opens the package and sees a sleek, comfortable pair of Running Shoes. The instructions involved pressing some B button, but Lolcat couldn't decipher what that meant. It was much easier to run with the shoes, so Lolcat ran into Route 3 feeling better than ever. Route 3 was fettered with young Trainers, meaning that Lolcat would have to battle cautiously if he wanted to preserve his entire team. Squirtle and Butterfree spent the next two hours drenching and confusing various Pidgey, Nidoran, and Rattata, and the teammates gained some levels in the process.

After defeating a rather boring group of Trainers, Lolcat continues down the long Route until he spies a large field of tall grass where a potential fourth member of the Nuzlocke army awaits. Lolcat searches the grass top to bottom, but the only wild Pokemon that pops out is a Pidgey. Since there's already a Pidgey waiting in the Box as a backup, Lolcat jettisoned the little bird to the Box of reserves.

On the trail to the Pokemon Center in Pewter, Lolcat decides to take a shortcut but failed to escape the eye of a Youngster. The Trainer decides that something must be wrong with Lolcat because he is not wearing shorts, and Lolcat comes to the conclusion that this child must be mentally handicapped. Though Lolcat doesn't like harming the disabled, Squirtle had no problem wasting the boy's lone Spearow.

Lolcat continues down the trail, noticing that the terrain transforming from a green, grassy field into the base of a rocky, rugged mountain. After walking for about another ten minutes, Lolcat spies a lone Pokemon Center next to the opening of a cave. Plastered on the front window of the Pokemon Center was a sign that read: "Mt. Moon Base Lodge. Climbers welcome to stay as long as necessary to prepare for crossing mountain. Beware- Numerous Wild Pokemon located in mountain!"

Deciding that it was late, Lolcat checks in for the night. He plans to traverse the mountain the following day. "I wonder where Blue is? Is he on the other side of the mountain? Or did I already pass him?", thought Lolcat as he drifted off into peaceful slumber...

Or was that slumber less than peaceful?. As he slept in the Lodge's small, cozy room, Lolcat's peaceful sleep was interrupted by a not-so-peaceful dream. A deep commanding voice rang in Lolcat's head like a church bell:

_Lolcat. Stop this madness. You were never supposed to train Pokemon. You were never supposed to enter Trainer's School, and you are not destined to even dream of earning a Gym Badge...Please, Lolcat, give up this insane Pokemon League challenge before you lose your life…or those of your Pokemon._

Lolcat wakes up as the sun cracks through the horizon, hoping to reach Cerulean City on the other side of the mountain by nightfall. The dream he had last night was peculiar, but Lolcat simply dismissed it to focus on more important things. He picks up a copy of the Cerulean Times at the Pokemon Center, and the front-page headline read: "Cerulean in Panic as Team Rocket Onslaught Continues!".

"Team Rocket? The Pokemon thieves?", thought Lolcat, "I hope they'll be gone by the time I reach Cerulean City. And if Blue's already there, the Rockets might have killed him!" Before panic set in, Lolcat dashed into Mt. Moon.

Inside the cave, Lolcat realized that Mt. Moon could be the source of Lolcat's fourth teammate. However, since it's almost guaranteed that the Pokemon will be a Zubat anyway Lolcat doesn't really get his hopes up. Ten seconds of walking proves this notion, and Lolcat takes Zubat to its final resting place in the Box. The team reenters the cave, seeing that the path splits into two directions: one to the west, and one to the east. Lolcat flips a 50-Pokedollar coin and chooses the western path, picking up a TM09 in the process. The TM contains Bullet Seed, a useless Grass move with about as much power as Bubble. Continuing through the dimly lit cave, Lolcat is attackedby a Bug Catcher who declares: "suspicious men are in the cave! I can't take any chances! Go, Weedle!"

Apparently this boy believes that he can defend himself with a Weedle and Kakuna. However, Spearow's Peck quickly convinces the boy the error of his ways. Usually after defeating a common Trainer Lolcat would just take the prize money and leave, but this Bug Catcher seemed to know something. Lolcat initiates the conversation.

"So, what do you mean by 'suspicious men'?"

The Bug Catcher replies, "A few hours ago some weird looking men wandered into the cave muttering about stealing Pokemon. I'm positive that the men are from Team Rocket, the thugs that are attacking Cerulean."

Lolcat thanks the boy and runs off, doing his best to avoid any black-cloaked hoodlums. However, the path that Lolcat took simply led to a dead-end, so Lolcat turned back and ran down the eastern path. One Trainer with a Clefairy battled Lolcat, but she was quickly stomped by Squirtle. On the path, a Zubat ambushed the team and Lolcat sent out Squirtle to combat the bat. After three Water Guns, the bat fell, but Squirtle stood motionless, unable to return to the Pokeball.

"Uh...master", eked Squirtle..."I'm feeling a little funny...", Squritle announced as his body turned glowing white. Squirtle collapsed, sprawled out on the cave floor. His glowing white form began to expand and eventually his dark blue color returned. When Squirtle returned to his feet, he stood at least a foot taller and screamed "WARTORTLE!" Lolcat's jaw dropped as he witnessed his first Pokemon evolve.

The path led eastward, but took a sharp turn forward until Lolcat spied a manhole with a long, metal ladder leading underground. Lolcat descended down the ladder into mountain's pitch-black basement. The lower level was much smaller than the upper and was much easier to navigate. Spearow made short work of the Paras that dwelt within. After a few minutes of walking, Lolcat discovered a second ladder leading upwards to the main floor.

After climbing those stairs, Lolcat blinks a few times to adjust to the better-lit surroundings and steps forwards from behind a rock. Immediately, he hears a commanding voice from a black-garbed man.

"You! You have fallen into the trap of Team Rocket, THE Pokemon gangsters! Now, surrender your Pokemon!" The Rocket member summoned a Sandshrew to attack Lolcat, but Lolcat challenged him to a 3-on-3 fight. The grunt accepted and Lolcat sent forth his Spearow. The Spearow started off the duel with a Fury Attack, connecting five times before Sandshrew steeled himself with a Defense Curl. However, the Fury Attack did enough damage for Spearow to clean it up with a pair of Pecks. The grunt then unleashed a Rattata feinted with a Quick Attack, and Spearow retaliated with a two-hit Fury Attack. Though Spearow could probably survive another Quick Attack, Lolcat recalled the bird and sent out Butterfree in case of a critical hit. The butterfly shrugged off a Tackle and a Quick Attack and smote the rat with Confusion. The Grunt finished off the fight with Team Rocket's signature Zubat which was demolished by Confusion. Lolcat won the battle.

"Dammit! You wait, red man! There are more Rockets in the cave than just me, and they'll avenge my loss!" announced the Rocket. Lolcat discovered that the room contained a Star Piece, but the cave terminated in a dead end. There was nothing to do but backtrack to the cave center, detouring to the Pokemon Center to heal the wounded Spearow.

After returning to where he left, Lolcat passed by the descending ladder and reached a sandy pit in the middle of the cave. The path ended and branched into a north-facing path and a south-facing path. Flipping his trusty 50-Pokedollar coin, Lolcat chooses to walk down the southern path. On the way down, Lolcat passed by a Super Nerd with a frightening Pokemon, Magnemite. Lolcat was about to make the rational switch but realized **every Pokemon on his team was Electric-weak**. The Magnemite fires off a Metal Sound against Wartortle, and Lolcat meets the frightening reality that **this battle will almost definitely cost Lolcat a Pokemon.** Lolcat retreats to Butterfree who meets a second Metal Sound. Planning to sacrifice the butterfly, Lolcat orders a Confusion which connects but then the mini Magnet fires off a Thundershock. Butterfree's HP quickly depletes to just nine points.

Astounded, Lolcat realizes that all hope is not lost on this fight. Unless the following Thundershock connects critically, Wartortle will be able to take two Thundershocks. Switching to Wartortle and expecting to take an Electric shock, Watrtortle only gets Tackled and finishes the magnet off with a one-two Water Gun punch. The Nerd sends out a Voltorb but it Wartortle sends it to a watery grave. Lolcat heals once more and returns to the cave. The next Trainer that dared stand in Lolcat's path was a Bug Catcher. I'm not even describing this battle because it is a Bug Catcher. Caterpies and Metapods do not deserve my descriptive powers.

The path U-Turned to the north, and Lolcat stepped through the brown, murky path to meet up with the original northern path. The path widens and Lolcat spies a Lass in the distance. Unfortunately, the battle is just another mundane, repetitive skirmish that serves little purpose to Lolcat's adventure. Just think of a Spearow Pecking some Grass-types to death. Lolcat passes another manhole but decides not to take the path as last time, it only led to a gangster-infested dead end, instead choosing to battle a Youngster. The Youngster, however, had an interesting comment to share with Lolcat after battle:

"I came all the way down here to show off to girls". Yeah, man, you show off those Level 10 Rattatas. Those rats really are a Quick Attack to a woman's heart. What a moron.

Lolcat sees a second manhole by a dead end in the cave, so the way out had to be either through that manhole or the one that Lolcat passed a few minutes ago. Deciding to explore every area of the cave, he chose to take the first ladder down to the basement floor. After dropping down, the path moved a few yards to the side and presented a second ladder to the ground floor. The room was a dead end occupied by a lone Rocket. Hoping to grill the criminal after defeating him, Lolcat challenges the crook to a battle. The obligatory Zubat was swiftly killed, but then the grunt sent out an Ekans to match Spearow. Spearow led off with a Fury Attack and Ekans used Wrap. Spearow continued attacking furiously but was met with a Poison Sting from the little snake. As we all know, Poison Sting is the deadliest movein a Nuzlocke this side of Explosion, and we all know why. With no Antidotes in his Trainer's Bag, Spearow was at Arceus' mercy to avoid Posion. Fortunately for the bird, it showed no signs of Poison after the short battle.

Now that the thief was at Lolcat's mercy, Lolcat demanded to hear why the criminal team was invading the mountain.

The crook spoke, "Uh...our boss sent about five of us Grunts to get some Fossils. Fossils are kind of profitable these days and Team Rocket wants a cut of the profit, you know? And with so many people moving from Pewter to Cerulean we thought we'd pull off a few Pokemon too! Please, man, don't kill me! Here, I'll give you this TM if you let me live!", the man bawled. Lolcat accepted the TM and proceeded towards the ladder.

Back on the ground floor, Lolcat knew with certainty that the correct path to Cerulean City was through the final manhole, so he quickly descended down the dark tunnel. The underground floor was similar to the other areas, just a straight path that hooked to the right. However, once the trail hit a dead end there was one striking difference. The ladder at the end led further underground. There would be no problem with that normally; however, there would be virtually no light two stories underground. Since that was the only way to Cerulean City, the pitch-black path had to be taken.

Lolcat says a quick prayer for safe passage though the cave and his prayer was answered, as the bottom of the cave contained artificial lights that illuminated the cave like a theater's stage. The trail, fortunately, did not split at the bottom but spiraled around the mountain's perimeter, meaning that any Rocket Grunts could not be avoided. Noticing his first adversary, a black-cloaked criminal, Lolcat sent out a Butterfree to take on the Rocket. This Grunt was a cut above the rest as his Rattata knew Hyper Fang, but Butterfree's new tactic Sleep Powder was too much for the weak rat to handle.

The murky trail continued to circle the cave's perimeter, but no Rocket grunts were stationed nearby. Lolcat trained Butterfree a little against the cave-dwelling Pokemon knowing that a Rocket leader could be nearby. After running around the entire cave, Lolcat spied one lone Rocket Grunt standing between two wide, rocky pillars. The Rocket had to be defeated if Lolcat wanted to progress. The Rocket blabbed on about discovering Fossils for profit and then attacked Lolcat with a Rattata. Wartortle made short work of the Grunt's Pokemon.

The thin, rocky path looped around in a semicircle and Lolcat saw a metal ladder in the distance that served as his ticket out of the dungeon. However, that escape ladder was guarded by a Rocket Scientist determined to stop Lolcat from proceeding out of the cave. The Scientist challenged Lolcat to a duel: three Pokemon each. Lolcat summoned Wartortle and the mad scientist sent out a Grimer. Lolcat called for a Water Gun to strike the sludge heap and the Grimer retaliated at the Scientist's command. The deafening roar of two words from the Scientist made Lolcat's heart drop.

"Grimer, use **Poison Gas!**. The toxic wave slowly arched around the cave and centered on the turtle and Lolcat gave the order to dodge. Wartortle bent his wobbly knees and bounded as high as he could lift his fifty-pound frame. Although Wartortle's jump lifted him atop the poison cloud, gravity brought the turtle right back down to Earth. He landed directly in the middle of the toxic cloud and doubled over from breathing in the poison. Knowing that Wartortle's health would drop if left in battle, Lolcat called Butterfree's number to take the upcoming Pound. Left with a low ten Hit Points, Butterfree finished off the dangerous Grimer with a Confusion. The second Pokemon released was a Voltorb. Since low-leveled Voltorb rarely possessed Electric moves, Lolcat felt confident that Butterfree could finish off the smug ball with two Confusions. Those suspicions proved correct. The Scientist clicked his last Pokeball, this time containing a Koffing. Butterfree launched a Confusion attack to finish this round before it started.

Though the battle was over, the war had just begun. Wartortle was poisoned with just above thirty HP and Lolcat stood in the bottom of Mt. Moon. Lolcat encapsulated Wartortle in its Pokeball and instinctively weighed his two options.

1. Turn back and heal Wartortle all the way back in the Route 3 Pokemon Center, hoping that Wartortle could survive the poison.

2. Continue through Mt. Moon and try to reach Cerulean before the poison sends Wartortle six feet under.

A glance at the Town Map sent Lolcat into a mad dash to Cerulean Pokemon Center with Spearow and Butterfree flying and cheering for Wartortle. Lolcat detected the cave's exit and stepped into the bright daylight of Route Four. There was no time to admire the beautiful day because a certain turtle and his thirty-two Hit Points needed to meet up with a Nurse in Cerulean.

Lolcat dashes eastward to the city. He passes by a sign directing him to the town.

**31**

**30**

**29**

**28**

Two Karate experts greeted Lolcat, offering to teach him the art of Mega Punch and Mega Kick, but Lolcat politely declined without missing a step.

**27** Lolcat bounds down a ledge, his eyes fixated on Cerulean City's skyline.

**26**

**25**

**24**

**23**

**22**

A small field of tall grass was seen by Lolcat, but more importantly, so was the entrance to Cerulean City.

**21**

**20**

**19**

**18**

**17** The long, dusty path to Cerulean felt like a marathon, and with every step Wartortle's will to live grew weaker and the sinking feeling that the voice in Lolcat's dream was accurate.

As tears streamed through Lolcat's beady eyes and Wartortle's body weakened, Lolcat finally saw the gate to Cerulean and the red-roofed Pokemon Center located in the middle of town. However, it had been over half an hour since Wartortle had been poisoned and Lolcat knew that days of intensive care would await Wartortle if he survived. Thrusting the Pokemon Center doors aside, Lolcat rushes right up to the Nurse, throwing Wartortle's Pokeball at her and screaming,

"Save my Pokemon, damn it!" The Nurse quickly detected the severe poisoning and began injecting Wartortle with hundreds of cc's of Antidote. The Nurse responded to Lolcat,

"Mr. Lolcat, your Wartortle has been poisoned for a while now. I'm not a miracle worker, and our healing machines are only so developed. Looking at your Pokemon, I can see that it's going to…

...

...

The two seconds between Nurse Joy's words felt like an hour.

...

Going to make a full recovery! It was smart getting the Pokemon here in time, if you had come even ten minutes later Wartortle would most likely have perished from the poisoning. Good luck, Mr. Lolcat, we hope to see you again."

The weight of the world had been lifted from Lolcat's shoulders. After two days of waiting for Wartortle in intensive care, Lolcat was free to explore Cerulean City. The city was standard fare, it had a Mart, Gym, Pokemon Center, and exits to the north, south, east, and west. Lolcat remembered passing past Route 4 when rescuing Wartortle and decides to pick up another Pokemon there. However, the only Pokemon that presented itself before Lolcat was a duplicate Spearow which was stored in the Box with the other backups. With only one exit undiscovered, Lolcat proceeded to the north across the Bridge on Route 25. However, before Lolcat could step on the Bridge he heard a familiar voice from in front of him:

"Yo! Lolcat! You still back here with your crappy team and one measly Badge! I already got Cerulean's Badge because I nailed Misty! That broad is so corrupt, I don't think she's actually had a battle in years! You like how I get all my sentences punctuated with an exclamation point! Even the questions! It makes me seem more sophisticated! BAAAAAAATLE!"

Blue tosses out a Pokeball containing a Pidgeotto which Lolcat counters with Spearow. Though Pidgeotto would probably win this bout one-on-one Spearow's job was simply to weaken the bigger bird before Wartortle comes in for the clean-up. However, Blue's Operation Sand-Attack Spa, succeeded in badly weakening Wartortle before he could finally waterlog the bird. Blue launches out a second Ball, this time containing a Bulbasaur which is oddly unevolved despite the level requirement being met. Spearow begins to Peck the leafy dinosaur but the dino responds with a Sleep Powder to incapacitate Lolcat's Pokemon. Sensing that Spearow's loss is imminent, Lolcat retreats and goes to Butterfree to finish off Bulbasaur with Confusion. Blue became angry and sent out a Pokemon that Lolcat had never seen before: Abra. Knowing that most Psychic pokemon don't learn many good moves without artificial assistance, Lolcat feels safe to whittle the useless psychic's life down with Confusions and Tackles. The final Pokemon in Blue's repertoire was a Rattata which just couldn't stand up to two Confusions from Butterfree. The battle had been won, though the soldiers were wounded.

**End of Part Three**

* * *

Next time on The Nuzlocke Wars: Book 1:

[i]I would love to extend to you a special offer: automatic membership into Team Rocket!

This Rattata was in the top percentage of Rattatas...

Misty rejected Lolcat's advances and demanded a duel...[/i]


	5. Part 4- Cerulean Showdown!

I do not own Pokemon. This story is only for entertainment purposes.

Part Four: **Cerulean Showdown!**

* * *

Spearow and Butterfree waited patiently by Wartortle's side as the turtle regained his strength. The team had been ready to bury Wartortle just two short weeks ago, and now Wartortle is expected to lead his team to a Cerulean City Gym Badge in a couple short days. However, it was somewhat obvious that Lolcat's team is not prepared to fight for the Cascadebadge, so he decided to explore the Routes north of Cerulean.

Lolcat returns to the bridge where he fought Blue and realizes that five Trainers inhabit the passage. Knowing that he would have to finish off the five Trainers to progress to Bill's Cottage, Lolcat sends out Spearow to fight the first Bug Catcher. The Catcher replies that "people call this the Nugget Bridge! If you defeat five Trainers on this bridge, you will win a fabulous prize!" Though the Trainer entered the battle with energy, Spearow Pecked the insects until they were nothing but carcasses. The second Trainer was weak as well; her three Pokemon didn't stand a chance against Wartortle's Water also mowed down the next Trainer with a few shots of his Water Gun. Spearow and Butterfree tag-teamed the fourth trainer's group of Nidoran, and the final Trainer's Mankey was broken by Peck.

After crossing the Nugget Bridge, Lolcat stepped back onto firm earth and was greeted by a man in a Pokemart uniform. The salesman told Lolcat,

"Congratulations on clearing the Nugget Bridge! Now you can receive the fabulous prize! On behalf on Pokemart International, I take pleasure in awarding you this golden Nugget. Congratulations again for completing the challenge, and we hope that Pokemart International will have your continued support. Oh, by the way, since you completed the challenge so quickly, I would love to extend to you a special offer: automatic membership into Team Rocket, THE premier Pokemon criminal organization!"

"You mean that lousy group of thugs that attacked Mt. Moon?", asked Lolcat. "You better be fucking joking me, your damn organization almost killed my first Pokemon! You want me to join your team? How about I introduce you to a whole new world of pain?!"

Lolcat released Spearow from his capsule and the Rocket released an Ekans. Spearow negated the Intimidating stare of the snake with a Leer, and then proceeded to pummel the little snake with Fury Attacks. With the same intensity, Spearow Fury Attacked the man's trademark Zubat to death. The goon never stood a chance.

After a trip to Cerulean Pokemon Center, Lolcat returned to the other side of Nugget Bridge and realized that he was on Route 24, potential home of another member of the Nuzlocke team. However, a tiny Weedle appeared to challenge Lolcat and was quickly stored away in the Pokemon Storage System.

After deciding not to take the little bug, Lolcat saw the terrain shift from a green field into a rocky plateau with an abandoned Technical Machine in the distance. Upon further inspection, the Technical Machine was for Attract. However, it was unnecessary because Lolcat is always using Attract. The path again transformed from rocky to green, and Lolcat sees numerous Trainers playing in the verdant field. A lone house whose mailbox read Bill's Cottage, stood on the horizon but Lolcat still has to traverse the field before arriving.

Lolcat sprinted into the knee-high grass on Route 25 looking for a new Pokemon for his team, but the first Pokemon to meet the Trainer's challenge was a Caterpie. Since already has a Butterfree, the Caterpie was deemed useless and was sent to the PC with the other backup Pokemon. However, as Lolcat bid farewell to Route 25, a sphere of light expanded in front of him until the sphere was three feet in diameter. From the brilliant light emerged an Abra, which Lolcat could not catch thanks to the Caterpie. Enraged at his terrible luck, Lolcat crossed the field, defeating Hikers and Youngsters along the way. The terrain curved and terminated at Cerulean Cape, a quaint, posh neighborhood overlooking the bustling north half of the Kanto region. The highlight of Cerulean Cape, however, was the world-famous Bill's Cottage, one of the dozens of residences belonging to Bill, the inventor of the PC Storage System. Deciding to follow in Blue's footsteps and pay respects to the man, Lolcat enters the cottage.

The inside of the cottage was coated in steel machines and generators. Two chambers were in the back connected by a large, green tube. A Clefairy was in the center of the room fiddling with the computer. Since Clefairy does not seem like a Pokemon well acquainted with technology, Lolcat lifts the pink Pokemon and moves it away from the screen. The Clefairy started bawling,

"Yo! Person! I'm a Clefairy! Err...okay, maybe I'm not. I'm Bill, the PokeManiac. I was trying to build a doomsday device and blow up Cerulean City but I accidentally turned myself into a Clefairy. You hate Cerulean City, right? If you enable the Cell Separator on the computer, I can continue my world-domination plans! And you will die quickly and painlessly once I am in power!"

Lolcat realized that Blue might still be in Cerulean City and that Bill could kill his supremely annoying rival if Lolcat saved him, so he enabled the Separator, waited a moment, and watched as Bill walked out of the Teleporter in human form. The inventor spoke:

"Thanks man. Want to see my Pokemon collection? I'm trying to genetically engineer a Mewtwo to destroy Kanto, but it's not working well. I also created the Pokemon Storage System so I could track the location of every Trainer in Kanto, which I can do because none of you morons ever read the Terms and Conditions. Since you saved me, I guess you deserve to live. Here's a ticket for the S.S. Anne, a ship that departs Vermillion City next week. Leave Kanto while you can."

Lolcat heeded the megalomaniac's advice and took the Ticket. Since there wasn't anything else on Cerulean Cape, Lolcat decided to return to the City and spend the next night in the Center. Since the only unexplored place in the area was the Gym, it seemed like it was time to go challenge Misty. Lolcat checked in for the night and drifted into a dream...

A soft voice penetrated the dream, speaking to him much like it did in Route 4...

_Lolcat, stop this madness now. Do you not remember Wartortle just two days ago? It was about to die and you couldn't do a thing about it. You're not even a quarter of the way to the Pokemon League. Your Pokemon can barely get through Mt. Moon without dying, how do you expect them to make it through Victory Road? Get your head out of the clouds, you fool, and go back to Pallet where you belong, or this fate will befall you...  
_

_"Wartortle! Dammit, I shouldn't have switched you in! How was I supposed to know?! Damn it, Arceus, how could you let this happen to me!", screamed Lolcat as he pounded Wartortle's motionless chest. _

Although this nightmare frightened Lolcat, he ignored it since not a single Pokemon on his team has been killed. After getting his Pokemon back from the Nurse, Lolcat walked next door to Cerulean City Pokemon Gymnasium, home of the second Badge. He opened the standard glass doors and saw that the middle of the Gym was an Olympic-sized swimming pool crisscrossed by diving boards and walkways. Lolcat and Misty would command their Pokemon from the pool's edge as their Pokemon fought inside the pool. Misty was standing atop the high dive, and asked Lolcat,

"Are you here to challenge the Gym? First, you must prove your worth by defeating both of my trainees. You may heal after any one of those Trainers, and you may even leave the Gym to prepare after any one of those battles, too. Proceed across the passage and challenge the first Trainer."

The Trainer possessed a Horsea and a Shellder which were taken down by Spearow and Wartortle, respectively. After a trip to the Pokemon Center, Lolcat challenged the second Trainer who had a Goldeen. The Goldeen was demolished by Spearow, who leveled up in the process without taking any damage.

Lolcat, with his team in perfect shape, was about to challenge Misty when Spearow fell on the floor, motionless. Lolcat rushed to the bird, asking it what was wrong.

"Spearow? You okay? You didn't even take any damage in the fight..."

Spearow was cloaked by a white light, and his form started expanding. Lolcat had seen this before in Squirtle, so he knew what was happening. Spearow started speaking: "Spearow! Spearow! Spee...row...Spfe...fee...FEAROW!" Spearow had evolved into Fearow, and was ready to take on the Gym Leader. However, Lolcat paused to brief his team about the upcoming fight.

"Okay, team. Now that we have Fearow on the team the battle shouldn't be as bad. I'm going to lead with Butterfree and take out her Staryu. Next, I'll keep Butterfree in and sleep the Starmie, switching in Fearow. Fearow should clean up, and if that doesn't work, I'll go back to Butterfree to paralyze the star and keep it flinching with Wartortle's Super-effective Bite. I brought three extra Pokemon to take a hit if we need a free switch. Any questions? No? BREAK!"

"Have you finally finished talking to your Pokemon? Then let's begin! Go, Staryu!", announced Misty as her speedily spinning starfish exploded from its Pokeball.

Sticking to the plan, Lolcat ordered Butterfree to meet Staryu on the battlefield. Although both Pokemon in Misty's pool were fast, Butterfree was quicker and sprayed a bevy of spores at Misty's Staryu. The Sleep Powder attack connected and Lolcat barked another command at his Pokemon while Misty watched in desperation. "Butterfree, use Confusion!", announced Lolcat. Butterfree contorted its face and launched a wave of psychic energy at Staryu, scoring a critical hit. Staryu took his final breath after a second Confusion attack; Misty withdrew her defeated Pokemon with a discouraged look in her eyes.

"Okay, Starmie, we're in a bind but we can still win this fight! Go, Starmie!"

A starfish twice the size of Staryu emerged and pointed its tube feet at Butterfree to taunt the butterfly. Lolcat, unfazed, ordered Butterfree to knock Starmie out with Sleep Powder, but before the words escaped Lolcat's mouth Starmie had already smashed Butterfree with a Water Pulse. After Butterfree shook off the damage from Water Pulse, the Pokemon tucked in its wings and charged at Starmie, dropping sleep spores on Misty's last Pokemon. Knowing that Starmie would stay asleep for a few minutes, Lolcat recalled Butterfree and flung Fearow's Ball at the battlefield. As Starmie remained incapacitated, Fearow bored its beak into Starmie's core. Starmie's red core obtained a dent and Starmie's once-spinning arms began to slow and stop. As Fearow swooped from the ceiling to deliver the final blow, Misty let loose a scream that penetrated the eardrums of both Lolcat and every Trainer unfortunate enough to be in the stadium.

"Starmie, use Recover!"

Misty's scream awoke her Pokemon, whose core illuminated and whose dents healed right before Fearow connected with a Fury Attack. The two Pokemon were evenly matched in terms of Speed, and the next move belonged to Fearow. Instead of continuing the repetitive Fury Attacking, Fearow struck Starmie with a Leer, frightening the starfish and causing it to drop its guard. Starmie pulsed two rings of water at Fearow, soaking its wings but failing to significantly damage the bird. Fearow corkscrewed its beak and jabbed Misty's Starmie five times to tip the battle in Lolcat's favor. Deciding not to Recover its health, Starmie goes for the kill by sending another Water Pulse at Fearow. Lolcat grits his teeth and releases a small smile as he knew the battle was over. One more attack from Fearow would flatten Starmie and net Lolcat a Cascadebadge, but a quick glance at Fearow indicated something was wrong. Fearow was spinning his head around like a top and flapping his wings erratically. The Water Pulse attack confused Fearow, who was on the brink of fainting. Knowing that Misty was preparing to use Recover, Lolcat seized the opportunity to switch Pokemon and let Butterfree execute the first phase of Lolcat's original plan. Misty, while Lolcat was switching Pokemon, sprayed Starmie with Super Potion and restored its health to the maximum. Before Butterfree could act, Misty ordered a lightning-fast Water Pulse. However, this attack failed to faze Butterfree, who paralyzed Starmie before Misty could call for another attack.

The second step of Lolcat's original plan fell into action. Butterfree floated back to its capsule and Wartortle entered the pool. Although Wartortle took a Water Pulse to the face while switching in, he deftly swam around the paralyzed Starmie and finished the battle with his jaws. Two Bites later, Starmie had no more will to battle had been won, and Misty admitted defeat. Misty began speaking again,

"Lolcat! You have defeated me in battle and have earned the CascadeBadge. You also win a reward of two thousand, one hundred Pokedollars. The Badge will cause all Pokemon up to Level 30 obey you, even ones received in trades. You are also permitted to use the move Cut out of battle. The final reward for defeating me is a Technical Machine for Water Pulse. Congratulations, Lolcat, and good luck wherever your journey takes you."

With the next badge acquired, Lolcat returns to the Pokemon Center to spend his final night in Cerulean City, every one of his Pokemon in tow.

**End of Part Four.**

* * *

**Team Status:**

**Alive:**

Wartortle, Level 22, Mild  
-Tackle  
-Withdraw  
-Bite  
-Water Gun

Butterfree, Level 19, Hardy  
-Sleep Powder  
-Stun Spore  
-Tackle  
-Confusion

Fearow, Level 20, Jolly  
-Peck  
-Leer  
-Growl  
-Fury Attack

**In Box:**

Two Pidgeys, a Weedle, a Caterpie, and a Spearow, Levels 3-9

**Dead:**

****Nothing yet!

* * *

_Next time on _The Nuzlocke Wars Book 1: Fire Red!

_Lolcat enters Vermilion City: Kanto's gateway to the sea!_

_A familiar face returns to seek revenge on our hero, but can Lolcat's upgraded team hold him off?_

_The third Gym Badge rests in the port city of Vermilion, but which type will Lolcat need to face?_

Thanks for reading this chapter, please review if you have something to say!


	6. Part 5- Wrath of the Hax Gods

I do not own Pokemon. This story is solely for entertainment purposes.

**Part Five: Wrath of the Hax Gods**

* * *

Lolcat had stayed his welcome in Cerulean City, and it was finally time to leave the town for the third Badge in Vermilion City far south of Cerulean. Every house and building in Cerulean City had been thoroughly explored except for the one that had a policeman standing in front of it. However, the policeman was not standing in front of the door this time, but rather next to the door. Lolcat needed to leave Cerulean City, and the only unblocked exit was through that house. Lolcat spoke to the policeman:

"Hey, officer, is the public allowed into that house now?"

"Yes, but Team Rocket has recently robbed that house and the Cerulean City Police Department has not confirmed whether or not Team Rocket has vacated the city, so enter at your own risk."

Thanking the policeman for the kind warning, Lolcat proceeded into the house and was a bit shocked at the interior. The inside was in shambles; mud and footprintsriddled the house, the furniture had either been stolen or overturned, and the owner was still repairing the damage. The owner told Lolcat that the Rockets had stolen an expensive Technical Machine for Dig. Lolcat apologized for the family's loss and exited the house through the back door and into the backyard.

The backyard was grassy, but there was a trail leading out of Cerulean City on the other side. Nugget Bridge crossed the lake beyond the fence enclosing the backyard. One man, a member of Team Rocket, stood motionless in the backyard, almost trying to blend into the air. Trying to be nonchalant, Lolcat strode behind the Rocket Grunt, but the criminal immediately turned around and spotted the Trainer, challenging Lolcat to a battle. The man possessed two Pokemon: a Machop and a Drowzee. Butterfree made short work of the Machop and Wartortle switched in and cleaned up the Drowzee.

The Rocket Grunt handed over a TM28, the TM for Dig, to Lolcat, and then ran away. Lolcat declined to use the TM because it's only compatible with Wartortle and Wartortle had better things to do than Dig holes. Now that Lolcat was finally free to leave the city, he exited the backyard via the trail and walked the perimeter of the town to Route 5. The Route was small; it had a few tall patches of grass full of potential teammates, a few rocky ledges, and a house. On the other side of the Route was a guard shack and a small, mysterious building. Lolcat strode into the guard shack to enter Saffron City, a metropolis halfway between Cerulean and Vermilion.

Inside the guard shack was a lone policeman behind a desk. As Lolcat walked in front of the man, the officer spoke:

"Sorry, son, but Saffron City is off-limits from the north because of the Team Rocket incident. We know lotsa Rockets are hiding in Cerulean, and Team Rocket is trying to take over Saffron, so we gotta cut 'em off wherever we can. I hope you understand. If you really wanna go to Saffron, try from a different direction."

The news upset Lolcat. Team Rocket had never been this problematic in the sixteen years Lolcat has lived. Though occasionally the gang would take a few hostages or get caught in petty Pokemon theft, no city has ever closed its borders to contain the Rockets. Putting the grim news behind him, Lolcat stepped into the tall grass of Route 5 with his eyes peeled for the next member of his teamA Pidgey soared out of the grass, but within the minute the bird found the inside of a third Pidgey joined the other reserves in the Pokemon Storage System. At the bottom of all the ledges stood a lonely house which Lolcat entered. Surprisingly, the house contained a PC which Lolcat used to deposit the Pidgey.

The person inside the house greeted Lolcat and then explained that Lolcat had entered the Pokemon Day-Care service. The Gentleman will apparently "raise" your Pokemon if you "leave" them at his house. Since the only way to raise Pokemon is to kill other Pokemon, the man probably just takes your Pokemon has them beat the crap out of innocent Pokemon on Route 5. Yeah, I know normal Trainers do that too, but this psycho gets paid to take other people's Pokemon and _deliberately_ beat the stuffing out of unsuspecting Pokemon. What a guy, Lolcat_definitely_ wants to pay this man his hard-earned Pokedollars.

The other building in the Route was labeled Underground Path: Cerulean City- Vermilion City. Lolcat had read of these buildings before, they serve as subterranean streets between two cities in Kanto. Since Lolcat was basically stuck in the northeast region of Kanto thanks to Team Rocket blocking off Saffron, the Underground Path let Lolcat access the rest of the country. Lolcat swung open the door to the path and stepped into the one-room building. Inside, there was one room with a staircase leading underground. One Trainer was inside asking for a trade: male Nidoran for female Nidoran. However, Lolcat hat never seen a male Nidoran before in the wild and thought the Trainer was mentally inept for asking for this imaginary Pokemon.

Lolcat descended the staircase and onto the wooden trail. The Path was an old subway track; just one long path between two cities passing right under Saffron City. After ten or fifteen minutes of walking a second staircase appeared in the distance leading to Vermilion City. Lolcat ran to the stairs and climbed them. At the top was another building much like the first: a one room shack with a lone Trainer. This Trainer simply talked about how dark the Path was and how Trainers commonly lose items there.

Lolcat stepped out of the building and onto a grassy field rife with Trainers and wild Pokemon. Lolcat first asked a Camper for a battle, quickly demolishing his Caterpie and Weedle team with Butterfree and Wartortle. Lolcat continued on the winding trail where we found two more Campers talking about their Pokemon when Lolcat offered a challenge to the first one. The boy sent out a Squirtle which Fearow furiously attacked until it fell. The next Camper was female and chastised Lolcat for interrupting her conversion, sending out a Rattata. Fearow destroyed the small rat with some Pecks, but then the Camper unleashed a second Pokemon: Pikachu.

Just like in Mt. Moon, Lolcat remembered that his team really didn't like Electric types. Knowing that Fearow would probably not be one-shotted by a Thundershock, Lolcat commanded the bird to unleash a Fury Attack. The attack connected twice and the Pikachu was left with barely any HP left. However, the Pikachu's Static paralyzed Fearow. Taking advantage of its opponent's paralysis, the Pikachu began to Double Team twice while Fearow was unable to move. Pikachu fired off a third Double Team, but Fearow came to its senses and delivered a fatal Peck to the electric rat to seal the match for Lolcat.

Not wanting to deal with a paralyzed bird for his trip to Vermilion, Lolcat dashed back to Cerulean City and checked back into the Center for the night. Intending to rise early to finish the trip to Vermilion tomorrow, Lolcat hit the bed after checking into the Center. That night, Lolcat dreamed a familiar dream. No pictures accompanied the dream as per usual; simply a faceless voice whispering into Lolcat's mind.

_...Lolcat, why? You could have lost your entire team to that Pikachu... Nothing on your "dream team" can take on an Electric-type and hope to live. You and I both know who the next Gym Leader is, and he's a master Electric-type Trainer. His Raichu has killed twentyPokemon in the past year alone; he won't bat an eyelash as your Pokemon die from the brilliant electric shocks emitted from his Raichu..._

Lolcat's dream didn't end there, however. The white light in Lolcat's dream faded to black and was immediately replaced by an image of Wartortle battling a Raichu in some unknown building. The Wartortle, obviously Lolcat's, was covered in sweat, its flipper-like hands on its knees. The Raichu was standing strong in front of the Wartortle, dwarfing it in size. In the background, an almost inhumanly tall, muscular man wearing an Army uniform gave an order to the Raichu..."Raichu, end this with a Shock Wave!".

The Raichu took his sweet time charging up electricity in its cheeks until static shocks could be seen roaring from the mouse's cheeks. After an endless minute, the Raichu yelled "Raiiiiii...CHUUUUUU!" and the electricity erupted from the mouse. Lolcat's entire frame of vision was bathed in a violent yellow electrical storm with Wartortle in the center. The imaginary Lolcat began to cry and Lolcat reentered reality, immobile with fear.

As soon as he regained mobility, Lolcat reached for his belt and unleashed Wartortle, checking to see if the turtle was alright. The turtle was in fighting condition, ready to lead the charge to Vermilion City. Dismissing the dream as paranoia about Electric types, Lolcat checked out of the Pokemon Center and walked the perimeter of the city leading to Route 5. Route 5 led to the Underground Path, and the Underground Path led to Route 6. Lolcat walked the tortuous path and was discovered by a Bug Catcher, who possessed a Butterfree that Fearow demolished. The path continued to twist and turn until Lolcat saw Vermilion City in the distance. Two more Campers, a male and a female, blocked the way to the port city, so Lolcat took out the trash as usual.

The first Trainer possessed a trio of Pidgey, but despite the type disadvantage Butterfree was able to dispatch of the three birds without much trouble. The second trainer had a Spearow and Raticate, and Lolcat used the two Pokemon to test out Butterfree's Compoundeyes Sleep Powder. Needless to say, the avian and rodent were unable to wake before falling to repeated Confusions.

The last order of business in a new Route was to collect a new Pokemon, if necessary. Lolcat wandered through the tall grass and found a small Oddish. Lolcat realized that Oddish was basically outclassed by Butterfree until it became a Vileplume, and this small plant was not worth using on the main team. However, it would make a good backup if Butterfree were to fall to unforeseen circumstances.

The trail continued a few hundred feet until Lolcat passed a sign stating: "Vermilion City Limits". The center of the town was empty save a few people, and there were houses and routes crisscrossingevery part of the city. Since Lolcat entered the city from the north, it was only logical to explore the north side of the town first. The first building on the left was a Pokemon Center, which Lolcat used to heal his team and deposit his Oddish in the PSS.

Next to the Pokemon Center was a house proudly displaying a sign: "Fishing Guru lives here! He is a guru! And he fishes! And he's an NPC who gives you an ITEM!" Having no idea what an NPC is, Lolcat entered the house and was greeted by a lone fisherman who immediately drew Lolcat into conversation:

"Welcome to the domicile of the Fishing Guru! As you may or may not know, I am a guru of fishing! I was born into this world by a mysterious creator named Game Freak and my primary objective is to instruct Trainers in the way of the fishing! Here, young amphibious grasshopper, be taught with the ROD OF KNOWLEDGE!"

The psychotic man handed over an old, beat-up fishing rod. It didn't look like many big fish would be attracted to such a shoddily made rod, but Lolcat politely thanked the man and exited the man's house. The northeast side of the town was next to explore, but sadly only contained an old man and his Machop laying the foundation of a building. Since there was nothing of interest in the vicinity, Lolcat simply proceeded south and west to the unexplored area of town.

The southwest area of Vermilion City contained three buildings: a one story, orange-roofed residential home, a large, expansive Pokemon Gym, and a green-roofed, somewhat large building with a Pokemon Fan Club sign and a small garden in the front yard. The residential home was the building closest to Lolcat, so Lolcat stepped inside the blue door and saw a little girl inside. The girl spoke,

"Do you have a Spearow? Wanna trade it for my Farfetch'd?"

Lolcat did have a Spearow, but he knew Farfetch'd was a very weak Pokemon and should only be used as a Cut slave if the Trainer did not have one. However, the Oddish Lolcat found in Route 6 would serve as a Cut user once Lolcat finally acquired the proper machine to teach Cut.

The next building is the Pokemon Gym. However, the yellow-roofed Gym is surrounded by a wall of trees on the right and the ocean on the left. The impenetrable Gym was left alone in favor of the Pokemon Fan Club. Four Trainers sat inside the posh edifice, two of which were arguing about their Pokemon, the other two were sipping some tea and watching the verbal duel. Lolcat saw that the two Trainers were arguing about the attractiveness of their Pokemon, even though it's obvious that a cute Pokemon like Seel is far more awesome that a Pikachu.

The woman in the room was nearly silent, simply warning Lolcat that the Chairman is rather vocal about his Pokemon, but since Lolcat had a lot of free time on his hands, he decided to take a listen to the Chairman's speech.

"Good day, Trainer", began the chairman, "Welcome to the Pokemon Fan Club, where Trainers can discuss the finer points of raising, breeding, or even battling Pokemon. Allow me to tell you a little about myself. My name is Pokemon Fan Club Chairman, and I'm a pretty generic NPC just like the Fishing Guru. I raise over one hundred Pokemon, which I must say is an achievement it itself as there are only 151 Pokemon native to Kanto. I have never left Kanto in my life either, so all the Pokemon here are locally born and raised. Would you like to hear a short story about my Pokemon?"

Lolcat accepted the offer, deciding that there wasn't a better way to spend the evening.

"Very well then! My favorite pokemon is Rapidash. Allow me to recite a few passages from .net about it. Rapidash's name was originally supposed to be called Gallop, but then GameFreak realized that would be a pretty crappy name. Bulbapedia also mentions me as a fan of Rapidash. In the first Pokemon movie, there was a Rapidash without flames on it. It also has the same field move in both Fiore and Almia, two faraway countries where Pokemon Training is illegal! Instead, Pokemon Rangers populate the land there and normally only use Pokemon for a few minutes at a time. A person can only own one Pokemon in those regions because of those laws. In fact, Almia enacted the Anti-Training Act of 2008 when John. Q Whatsisname..

...

three hours later...  
Which led to the illegal mushroom trade in south Hoenn. Oh, look at the time! I've been talking to you for more then ten whole minutes! I apologize for taking your time, but I would like to tell you a secret. You know the Fishing Guru?"

The chairman immediately took off his suit and revealed a fisherman's uniform!

"Yes that's right, I'm the Fishing Guru in disguise! Since I am an item-giving NPC, I must confer onto you this Bike Voucher!"

Lolcat thanked the obviously unstable man, then ran like a Zubat out of hell to Route 6, as Vermilion City had just a _few_ too many psychopaths for Lolcat's liking. Knowing that there was just enough daylight to run back to Cerulean City and pick up a Bicycle, Lolcat did just that. He spent an uneventful night in the Pokemon Center, and then woke up early the next day to return to and explore Vermilion City in its entirety.

After a boring trip from Cerulean to Vermilion, Lolcat picked up his exploration where he left off. The only other building remaining on the southwestern side of Vermilion was a residential house near the docks. Lolcat enters the house and sees a girl, a boy, and a Pidgey with a letter. The boy explained that he's going to send his Pidgey to Saffron City to exchange mail with his friends since Saffron City is under lock-down at the moment because of the Rocket invasion. The boy's news drove a stake through Lolcat's heart; just how severe was this invasion? First, the Police blockade Saffron off from the outside world, then they shut off the mail service? It was likely that Saffronians were trapped in their houses and the Police may even be rationing food while the Rockets ran through the streets.

The southeastern side of town has only two points of interest: an exit to Diglett's Cave or Route 11, and the Vermilion Docks. Since Lolcat has to visit the Docks tomorrow to catch the S.S. Anne, he decides to see the Diglett's Cave up-close and the definite location of his fourth teammate: a Diglett!

"The voice in my dream two nights ago was wrong", thought Lolcat, "Diglett can mop up Lt. Surge's Pokemon without breaking a sweat!"

First, Lolcat stocked up on Pokeballs , then ran to Route 11 and after about five minutes came upon the entrance to the dark, dank Diglett's Cave.

On the brown cave wall was a white sign giving a short history of the Diglett's Cave:

"This tunnel was dug by Diglett about 11 years ago: it leads straight to Viridian City for easy access across the continent, even though looking at the Town Map shows that this cave goes directly under an ocean, which makes absolutely no sense. Great going, GameFreak."

Lolcat climbs the ladder downwards (must be a pretty damn big ladder) and ends up in a rather well-lit cave with Diglett and the rare Dugtrio tunneling about. Lolcat waits patiently for a Diglett to come by to challenge Lolcat, but the Trainer is knocked to the ground when a certain Pokemon attacks him from behind:

**A LEVEL 29 DUGTRIO**.

Lolcat realizes that this battle is no laughing matter. This Pokemon could be the best addition to the team yet and would require absolutely no training. In fact, it's six levels higher than Wartortle, the toughest Pokemon on the team. After saying a quick prayer, Lolcatslings Fearow's ballbecause the bird is immune to Ground attacks and Arena Trap. Lolcat orders off a Peck to weaken the digging beast, but Fearow's beak doesn't scratch the three-headed monster. The Dugtrio burrows into the ground and causes the ground to erupt in a Sand Tomb, but Fearow soars above the earth-bound tornado. Dugtrio follows up with four Fury Swipes, deleting half of Fearow's HP. The frightening reality entered Lolcat's mind:

_He could easily lose one Pokemon, possibly more in this fight_.

Uncaring, Lolcat ordered another Peck; the Dugtrio retaliated with an ineffectiveSand Tomb. Dugtrio was showing some fatigue, and a critical-hit Peck would finish it off, so Lolcat chucked a Pokeball at the wild beast. Dugtrio snapped the Ball in half before it could shake twice Lolcat thought on his feet:

"_Since Dugtrio only knows one move to hit Fliers, Fury Swipes, could Butterfree switch in for free here?"_

Dugtrio at this level know three Ground moves: Sand Tomb, Dig, and Mud-Slap, and only one non-Ground move, so it seemed like a good idea. Lolcat tossed out Butterfree's Pokeball and the Dugtrio unleashed Fury Swipes.  
Once.  
Twice.  
Three times.  
A Critical Hit!  
Four times.

Butterfree's health dropped below one-fourth of the maximum. Lolcat had three options:

1. Toss a Poke Ball at the monster, hoping to catch it despite the low chance of capture. However Fury Swipes would end Butterfree's life.  
2. Switch to Fearow and finish off the Dugtrio. Fury Swipes could defeat Fearow, though Fearow had the mettle to shake off a two-hit attack.  
3. Switch to Wartortle, risking Arena Trap, and see what Dugtrio does. Although this puts Wartortle in grave danger, Wartortle is at full health and has the highest Defense on the team.

No matter which Pokemon Lolcat selected, that Pokemon's life was in immediate danger. Butterfree's Sleep Powder was the most useful move on Lolcat's team, and Lolcat did have two Caterpie in the PC if the unthinkable happened, so he decided to keep Butterfree in battle and order a Sleep Powder.

"Foe Dugtrio used..."

…

Fury Swipes!"

Butterfree's HP started to drop to zero, and Lolcat knew that there was no chance for Butterfree to survive. Dugtrio bored his claw into Butterfree's thin frame two times and the butterfly collapsed to the ground in defeat. The first death had come, and Lolcat was crying on the field as the words "Butterfree Fainted" appeared in Lolcat's mind.

Butterfree had been the one to sleep Misty's Pokemon. Butterfree saved the team against every Electric-type Lolcat battled, as it always had the Special Defense to take on Magnemites and Voltorbs, and this overpowered Dugtrio took its life away. That damn thing was joining this team, and it's going to work off this debt it owes the team with a fantastic Lt. Surge takedown.

Lolcat threw out Wartortle and ordered a Tackle. However, the speedy mole dodged the Tackle by preparing a Dig attack. The mole then jumped up and unleashed the Dig and Wartortle prepared another Tackle, but this time the words:

"Wartortle's attack missed!" appeared in Lolcat's mind. "_Bullshit", _thought Lolcat. Knowing that Wartortle could survive another hit, he ordered a final Tackle against the Dugtrio. however, the mole outran Wartortle and unleashed Fury Swipes.

Fury Swipes connected three times.

Two of those hits were Critical.

Tears poured out of Lolcat's eyes as Dugtrio mercilessly raked Wartortle with critically-powered Fury Swipes. Wartortle's health started to wane and Lolcat's first Pokemon joined Butterfree in Heaven.

Dugtrio claimed his second victim.

The last Pokemon standing was a half-health Fearow. Fearow could survive anything other than five hits from Fury Swipes, but Lolcat didn't order an attack.

"I'm going to catch this mother fucker or lose my last Pokemon in a blaze of glory!", screamed Lolcat, as the Trainer furiously threw a Pokeball at the murderous Dugtrio.

The Ball shook once, then broke.

Dugtrio used Sand Tomb and failed.

Lolcat desperately threw a Ball at Dugtrio.

It shook once.

Then a second time.

Then a third time, but Dugtrio had better plans than joining Lolcat's team. The ball broke, and Dugtrio unleashed a bevy of Fury Swipes at Fearow.

The attack only landed two hits, and Fearow hung on with a meager sixteen HP. One more attack from Dugtrio would finish both Fearow and Lolcat's chances at a Pokemon League title.

A third ball was thrown, but shook only one time.

Dugtrio used Mud-slap and fails to harm the brave avian.

A fourth ball was thrown, and it shook once.

Then a second time.

Then a third time.

And Lolcat's Pokedex registered Dugtrio's data.

The mole had been captured. That murderous mole had finally been captured. There was only a 17% chance to catch that mole with a Pokeball, but it had been done. The problem was solved and Lolcat can finally move on-

Wartortle is dead. So is Butterfree.

Lolcat did what had to be done. With tears streaming from his eyes, Lolcat dialed the Pokemon Funeral Home in Vermilion City and was told that the two martyrs would be shipped off to Lavender Town's Pokemon Tower within the week. Lolcat promised to visit the Tower before finishing his journey, but most importantly decided that this Pokemon League challenge would end in victory. Wartortle had saved the team in ever Gym Battle to date, and Lolcat wasn't about to let those two deaths occur in vain.

Unfortunately, there wasn't much of a suitable replacement to Butterfree, so Lolcat decided to try his luck at catching something in Route 11, the Route next to the evil Diglett's Cave. However, only another Spearow met Lolcat's challlenge. The only near-suitable replacement for Butterfree was the Oddish Lolcat caught on Route 5. Since it was Level 15 already, only about six levels of grinding were necessary to catch it up. One Bullet Seed TM later, it was ready for some training. Training's not hard with a VS. Seeker and Hikers on Route 25 though, so it wasn't a long diversion from the main objective. Although Diglett's Cave had Pokemon that Oddish could train against, it was a cold day in Hell before Lolcat stepped in that cave again.

(Dugtrio got poisoned while grinding, and survived with 1 HP during this ordeal!)

Back in Vermilion City, Lolcat was ready for a relaxing night on the seas. He immediately proceeded to Vermilion Docks and onto the S.S. Anne where the events of today could be washed away in a nice, deep sleep. However, Arceus had a different idea in mind. As Lolcat drifted off into dreamland, the voice-dream entered his thoughts.

_Your team dropped like files against the Dugtrio I had sent against you. Your Wartortle could not land a Tackle when it mattered most. Your Pokeballs broke like twigs against the Dugtrio It was a miracle that you even survived the battle, never mind caught the Pokemon. However, today only heldthe first of many deaths you shall witness if you fail to turn back. Go back to Pallet Town. Without a starter Pokemon, how do you think you'll win the Pokemon League? You're nothing, Lolcat, and you'll never be anything, or anyone. I will make sure of that..._

Lolcat woke up a little intimidated by the dream, but it was nothing compared to the dream four days ago with Lt. Surge massacring Lolcat's team. That prophecy won't come to fruition, as Dugtrio will one-hit-KO Surge's team. Lolcat remembered Bill's wise words from the a couple weeks ago:

_"The Captain of the S.S. Anne studied martial arts a while ago and can teach any Pokemon how to CUT small trees down in the blink of an eye._

Knowing this, Lolcat headed out to the bridge of the ship, traversing the fine wooden floors and passing by fellow Sailors. The Captain's quarters lie on the third floor of the ship, and as soon as Lolcat began ascending the stairs, a familiar face popped out from above.

Blue.

Blue typically began the conversation: "Yo, Lolcat! I've been collecting Pokemon, and even though I've apparently seen 40 of them, I still only have four in my party! Isn't that something! BATTLE TIME!"

Blue sent out a Pidgeotto and Lolcat released Fearow. Fearow rammed his beak into Pidgeotto three times to begin the battle, while Blue's bird only managed a weak Gust before Fearow ended the battle of the birds with a second Fury Attack. Raticate was Blue's next Pokemon, and Lolcat switched to the sturdier Dugtrio to sponge hits from the much weaker Raticate. Raticate charged up its fangs as Dugtrio tunneled into the battlefield, but the rodent's Hyper Fang sailed wide as Dugtrio dodged it like a pro. Lolcat's Dugtrio retaliated with a Dig attack, knocking the Raticate out of the boat. Lolcat, wondering if Dig would cause internal damage to the S.S. Anne, decided that winning was more important that keeping the vessel above the water. Ivysaur was Blue's penultimate Pokemon, but a quick switch to Fearow put Lolcat in an advantageous position. Two Peck attacks later, Blue was down to his final fighter.

Kadabra emerged from a minuscule Pokeball, and Lolcat decided to leave Fearow in the battle. Fearow had earned the last shot at Blue, as he served valiantly in the duel with Dugtrio and knocked out two of Blue's first three Pokemon. Always coming through in the clutch, Fearow ended the duel with a one-two punch of Fury Attack and Peck.

Blue, without losing the slightest bit of emotion, yelled at Lolcat,

"Lolcat, you lucky cheater! I trained my Pokemon for days so I could kick your ass, and I even got a ticket for this stupid boat from that douchebag Bill so I could enjoy a cruise without looking at your ugly face! Why do you always beat me?! That's it, I'm going to get an even better team next time and beat you once and for all! You better PRAY you don't see me again!"

Blue stormed off, his footsteps wracking Lolcat's ears as he walked away. Lolcat decided to take a quick nap in his cabin before seeing the Captain.

**End of Part Five.**

* * *

**Team Status:**

**Alive:**

Oddish, Level 20, Naive  
-Sleep Powder  
-Absorb  
-Stun Spore  
-Bullet Seed

Fearow, Level 23, Jolly  
-Fury Attack  
-Peck  
-Growl  
-Leer

Dugtrio, Level 29  
-Dig  
-Mud Slap  
-Sand Tomb  
-Fury Swipes

**In Box:**

Assorted weak Pokemon, Levels 3-13

**Dead:**

Wartortle, Level 21

Cause of Death: Dugtrio Critical Fury Swipes

Butterfree, Level 19

Cause of Death: Dugtrio Fury Swipes

Butterfree, Level 12

Cause of Death: Random Critical Hit

* * *

Woo! This update was a doozy to finish up, so if you enjoyed the chapter, please write a review! Remember: any review, no matter how small, is greatly appreciated!

See you next chapter!


	7. Part 6- Trench Warfare

I do not own Pokemon. This story is only for entertainment purposes.

**Part Six: Trench Warfare**

* * *

Lolcat had sent Blue packing for the Pokemon Center. The S.S. Anne breathed a sigh of relief knowing there was one less douchebag terrorizing its halls. As Lolcat wandered back to his cabin, he challenged Trainers along the way. Oddish and Fearow had a long way to go if they wanted to match Dugtrio's strength, so Lolcat placed Dugtrio's Ball in the back of his belt and let the two weaker Pokemon clean out the S.S. Anne.

The S.S. Anne had four levels. The upper deck and Captain's quarters were on the top, then three levels of cabins with the exit on the second floor from the bottom. On the second-highest floor there lie three staircases: one leading to the Captain's quarters, one leading to the upper decks, and one back down to the exit. After exploring the right side of the ship, Lolcat hopped down the stairs to the ship's lower-level cabins. There were half a dozen cabins in total, but the floor ended in a dead-end. Lolcat opened the first cabin and a lone Rich Boy stood in the room with his Machoke. Lolcat began a conversation:

"Oh, hey, would you like a battle?", began Lolcat.

"Oh...no thank you. My Machoke is all tired, as I just used one of my Strength HMs on it. I'm very rich, you see. I had my colleague in Celadon City wire me over five hundred Strength HMs and Rainbowbadges."

Lolcat continued: "So, uhh...could I have one of those Strength HMs?"

"Hmm...I do have hundreds of them and I will only ever need one in my entire life, so I would have no use for any of the other 499 HMs...No. However, since I know you're doing a Nuzlocke run...may I interest you in this Super Potion?"

"Piss off", replied our eloquent hero.

Incredibly pissed off, Lolcat yelled vile obscenities at the Rich Boy and stormed into the next cabin, throwing Oddish at the first Sailor he saw. The Sailor tried to defend himself with a Shellder, Tentacool, and Horsea, but all three were mowed down by the fastest Bullet Seeds the man had ever seen in his life. The Seeds were shot so quickly that Oddish collapsed to the ground, crying after the battle.

Lolcat, eyes red with rage, yelled at the tiny Pokemon, "Get up! Quit faking an injury! I saw you, you have like thirty-something HP left! Is something wrong? How are you feeling?"

The Oddish replied "Gloomy."

Lolcat calmed down.

"Gloomy? What's wrong? You just plowed through some Trainer and got a ton of Experience! Why are you so gloomy?"

At that moment, it hit Lolcat. Gloom is that Pokemon that Oddish evolves into. Calming down and reopening his eyes, Lolcat saw that the Pokemon standing before him was definitely not an Oddish, but a stronger, darker, faster Gloom. Proud of his new Pokemon, Lolcat encapsulated it and moved on to the next Trainer. The second Sailor possessed only a Shellder, which Gloom tested out it's new Bullet Seeds on.

After the Sailor handed over the prize money, Lolcat moved on to the third cabin. After three Absorbs from Super-Gloom, Lolcat moved on to the fourth. Three absorbs and a TM44 later, Lolcat moved on to the fifth. Since Gloom had been given all the attention recently, Lolcat gave the big flower a break and let Fearow get some much-needed training. Even though Fearow didn't have the type advantage, her superior Attack stat swept the Fisherman's weak Pokemon without much trouble.

The carnage continued on the middle decks. Lolcat switched between Gloom and Fearow and tore through the floor. In the furthest cabin to the left, however, was a lone Gentleman with no intentions to battle...

"Oh, sir, would you like to have a battle? I've been wanting to train my Pokemon." asked Lolcat.

"Oh, no, no, no! I cannot battle, I am too occupied with something at the moment! You see...my name is Looker! I am a member of the top-secret Global Police! You might be wondering why I told you of the Global Police! You see...the organization itself is not top-secret! We have a website called .www! However...there is much more to our organization than what is on that website! In fact, there are thousands of stories about criminal organizations that I am privy to; stories so blood chilling that I have to wear a heating pad for my blood! Now, I must continue my research on Team Rocket, as they must not be allowed to capture Saffron City!"

The man seemed a bit off his rocker, but on the off chance he was telling the truth Lolcat decided not to get on his bad side. Since the entrance floor of the S.S. Anne was devoid of Trainers, it was time to move on to the upper level.

Lolcat started tearing through a Fisherman with Gloom, and Gloom leveled up to 24 in the battle. After the battle, Gloom asked to have a word with Lolcat:

"Hey, man...I just figured out this awesome 'move' which does tons of 'damage' if you know what I mean. Next battle, I gotta show you this stuff...It's such a good move and it'll kill a ton of Pokemons..."

Lolcat agreed, though he was a bit confused by the Gloom's garbled speech and slow, heavy dialect. After hearing the incoherent Gloom's request, Lolcat headed out to the upper decks where he could battle the last few Trainers and showcase Gloom's new technique. The ship's deck was massive but only a few Trainers were there. Lolcat guessed that most of the Trainers were in the cabins battling Pokemon or resting. The first Trainer that accepted Lolcat's challenge was a Sailor, who Fearow quickly took down. The second Trainer was another Sailor who met a similar fate. Now that Fearow had leveled up, it was time to test out Gloom's new technique. However, there was one problem: there were no more Trainers to battle on the ship! Lolcat promised Gloom that he would get his chance on dry land and took his warriors to the Captain's quarters.

The last order of business on the ship is to receive the HM01 Cut from the Captain. The Captain's quarters were a short walk away from the upper decks, so Lolcat ran up the stairs and began speaking to the Captain:

"Oh, hello sir. I've heard that you are able to teach the Cut technique to Pokemon, so I'm wondering if you could teach some of my Pokemon the move Cut."

The captain replied: "BLAAAARGH! SEASICK! BLAAAGH! WILL TEACH CUT FOR SENSUAL THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE!1 bLLLLAAAAArgh!"

Lolcat needed the HM to make it closer to the Pokemon League, so he swallowed his pride and picked up the aromatic oils and lotions on the Captain's bookshelfand starting rubbing his bare back. After two long, excruciating hours of digging his oily hands into the geriatric man's back, Lolcat asked the man to make good on his promise.

"Aww yeah, that feels muuuuuuch better. Here's an HM01, good for teaching Cut to as many Pokemon as you need!"

"Thank you, Captain.", replied Lolcat.

The old man continued: "You know what, kid? I wasn't even seasick. My wife left me last month, and I was just looking for a good time if you know what I mean. If you liked giving me a good rub-down, there's plenty more where that came from.", the man said with a wink.

Lolcat couldn't dash out of that man's room fast enough.

After checking in to clean himself offat the Vermilion Pokemon Center, Lolcat pulled out the HM01 disc.

"Hmm, now what Pokemon should I teach Cut to...Gloom needs its moves, I don't want to waste one of Dugtrio's moves...Oh, I bet that Spearow in the Box can learn it!"

In the Pokemon Center, Lolcat withdrew a Spearow from the Box to teach Cut to. Unfortunately, Cut was not compatible with the little bird. Not knowing what to do, Lolcat thought back to the previous day when he was meeting and greeting the denizens of Vermilion City...

_"Do you have a Spearow? Wanna trade it for my Farfetch'd?"_

_Lolcat did have a Spearow, but he knew Farfetch'd was a very weak Pokemon and should only be used as a Cut slave if the Trainer did not have one. However, the Oddish Lolcat found in Route 6 would serve as a Cut user once Lolcat finally acquired the proper machine to teach Cut..._

That conversation occurred before Butterfree's untimely death. Gloom's unexpected promotion to the team's starting lineup made teaching it Cut a waste of a valuable move slot. Fortunately, Lolcat had not yet acquired a Pokemon in Vermilion so Lolcat paid a visit to a certain Farfetch'd owner...

The girl was still in her room with Farfetch'd in the back. Lolcat entered her living room and sat down, beginning a conversation.

"So, yesterday you offered me your Farfetch'd in exchange for a Spearow. I'm looking to take you up on that offer.", spoke Lolcat.

"Did you hear that, Ch'Ding? I've found a new home for you! Go with Mr. Lolcat, Ch'Ding, he's your new master now!"

The bird flew happily over to Lolcat.

"Mr. Lolcat, thanks for taking my Farfetch'd. It's hard to take care of such a high maintenance Pokemon. Plus, my Farfetch'd likes to run around; it's awful keeping him cooped up at home all day but with all the work I have around the house I have no time to train him."

Lolcat tossed the girl a Pokeball with a Spearow inside and Farfetch'd ran out of the house with Lolcat.

"Mr. Lolcat?"

"Yes", he replied. Did Lolcat forget something at the house?

"I only wanted a Spearow because the guy next door is trading Spearow for Level 100 Kyogres. Eat shit, Mr. Lolcat!"

The joke was on the little girl. Kyogre couldn't learn Cut! Although Farfetch'd had the competitive aptitude of a Weedle, the little bird added an untold amount of swagger points to the team. Realizing that the night was about to fall, Lolcat returned to the Pokemon Center and tuned into the Global News Network on the Center's TV. The words _Breaking News!_ Lit up on the bottom of the TV and dozens of people were watching the broadcast.

_Hello everyone and welcome to the Hoenn League Champioship! We are live from Ever Grande City, home of the Hoenn regional Pokemon League! Tonight, ex-Sootopolis City Gym Leader Wallace takes on Steel-type Pokemon Master and current Hoenn League Champion Steven for the Hoenn League Championship! Let's get down to Ever Grande Stadium, where the Trainers are about to unleash their first Pokemon!_

Lolcat had never watched a Championship duel before. Although his father was a renowned battler in the Hoenn region, Lolcat never watched the Hoenn League very much. Many of the Pokemon native to Hoenn are large, bulky monsters; as a result, the Hoenn League is known for slow, defensive play. Deciding to watch a little Pokemon before nodding off to sleep, Lolcat craned his head up at the Pokemon Center's TV and let the announcers do the rest.

_The two Masters begin the battle with Wallace's Wailord staring down Steven's Skarmory! The iron bird starts off the battle with an Aerial Ace which barely fazes the whale, who retaliates with a Water Spout! The wall of water smashes Steven's tin bird out of the sky and onto the arena floor! The referee doesn't even begin to count the bird out, as Skarmory jumps right back into the sky and lands a Toxic attack on the Wailord who retches in pain! After coughing and wriggling from the poison, Wailord returns to its senses and lets loose an almighty Water Spout, finishing off the Champion's bird and giving Wallace a 6-5 lead!_

The color commentator chimes in with his analysis: "That's a real head-scratcher right there. You see, Steven essentially condemned his Skarmory just to infect Wailord with Toxic. If Steven had used Aerial Ace there, Water Spout would probably have been weakened enough for Skarmory to survive. You really have to question Steven's play here, it's not like him to make that kind of mistake_."_

_...Wailord suffers some Poison damage but still stays standing strong with well over half its health! Steven goes for the type advantage and sends out Cradily to face the poisoned whale! However, the Wailord gets the drop on the ancient leech and spits out a Blizzard, landing a direct hit!_

_Cradily takes advantage of the situation and retaliates with an Ancientpower to strike the Wailord, but the prehistoric power barely scratches Wallace's whale! You can see Wailord struggling to land attacks and stay alive; that Toxic damage is really starting to add up! Wailord tries to bury Steven's Cradily with a Double Edge, but Cradily survives the impact and strikes back with a Sludge Bomb. Wailord, with its final breath, summons a Rain storm. Toxic damage got the best of it, though! Tie score: 5 Pokemon each! However, Cradily is reeling from the Blizzard and there is a heavy downpour courtesy of Wallace!_

The match had been going on for almost half an hour yet only two Pokemon had fallen. Lolcat's father had shown him a couple Steven Stone battles, but Lolcat had never heard of Wallace. Despite the pouring rain,the crowd was screaming "Steven! Steven!" as Wallace was about to send out his next Pokemon:

_Steven's Cradily is hurting, but it still got a KO on Wallace's Wailord! A heavy rain has set on the field which must aid Wallace immensely! Wallace sends out Tentacruel to outpace and knock out the ancient leech! _

_Whoa, what's this? Wallace orders a Toxic attack of its own against Cradily! Did Wallace not think he could knock Cradily out without it? Is Wallace's Tentacruel that weak, or is he just playing conservatively? Cradily damages Tentacruel with an Ancientpower, which the jellyfish shakes off! Tentacruel moves on the offensive, blasting the leech with a Hydro Pump! Cradily fires off a weak Sludge Bomb before the Toxic damage puts it to sleep! Wallace leads 5-4!_

The commentator spoke again: "Dang. As soon as you think Steven is taking back control of the match, Wallace just outwits him and takes a commanding lead! Not only that, but the Rain isn't getting any lighter! Steven is going to have to pull off some heroics if he wants to keep his Hoenn League title!"

Even Lolcat realized that Steven made some questionable decisions so far, and Wallace is making him pay for it. He's down a Pokemon and Wallace's Tentacruel is at nearly full health. Lolcat watched the next round of the battle:

_Steven throws out his third Pokemon: A Claydol? The Tentacruel can only land a Sludge Bomb on the doll, as the slower Pokemon sets up a Light Screen to support its team. However, the Sludge Bomb poisons Claydol! Wallace erred here; he was probably expecting Steven to switch his Pokemon in order to stall the Rain away. Instead, Steven gets a Light Screen to weaken Wallace's attacks. Almost every one of Wallace's attacks is Special, so this gives Steven a _massive _advantage! Who said he was out of this match; we've only started the battle of the year!_

_Now on the offensive, Tentacruel lands a Toxic on the Claydol who attacks with a Rock Slide! Oh, what's this? Tentacruel spins away from the falling rocks and the attack misses! Meanwhile, the Rain storm subsides! Tentacruel moves to full-on attack mode by throwing a Hydro Pump at the Water-weak Pokemon, but the Light Screen absorbs a lot of the damage! Claydol retorts with an Earthquake to directly strike the jellyfish, knocking it right out of commission! Four to Four!_

Lolcat wondered why Steven took so long to slay the Tentacruel. Oh well, at the battle was getting good:

_Wallace selects Whiscash to destroy the Claydol, starting off with a Surf right to the face! Claydol fires off a weak Ancientpower on the whiskery fish before succumbing to poison damage. 4-3 Wallace!_

Lolcat was surprised that that round ended so quickly.

_Steven sends out Armaldo! Armaldo can't take Whiscash's speed as the fish sets up an Amnesia to boost its defenses! Armaldo throws out an Ancientpower hoping for a stat boost, but lady luck is not on Steven's side! Wallace orders Whiscash to split the ground in two with an Earthquake, and Armaldo is down! Will he get back up?_

The referee runs to Armaldo and starts counting to ten. However, at the count of six, Armaldo leaps back up onto the field.

_The fossilized giant unleashes its Ancientpower again, but to no avail! Whiscash feels cocky on the next turn and tries to finish off the Armaldo with a Hyper Beam. That's some mean showboating from Wallace there; he's just pleasing the crowd and showing off his Hyper Beam instead of finishing off his opponent. Armaldo again hunts for a boost with Ancientpower, but Armaldo's power just isn't enough! As Whiscash recharges, Armaldo seizes the opportunity to land an Aerial Ace on the fish, this time striking it for moderate damage. Whiscash realizes his past mistake and just kills the fossil with a Surf to give Wallace a 4-2 lead!_

Lolcat has no idea what's gotten into Steven. Steven always battles in a calculated manner; he never blindly goes for stat boosts, especially when there's a ten percent chance of succeeding.

_Steven, irritated, throws out an Aggron to combat the fish, even though it was weak to both Water and Ground. Whiscash decides to prepare for the onslaught by setting up further with Amnesia. Aggron blasts a yellow beam from its mouth; is that a Thunder attack?_

The color commentator again speaks: "_Is Steven using Thunder? Against a Whiscash? What is he thinking; he's throwing the game away! Whiscash is going to end Aggron this turn now!"_

_Unfortunately, it doesn't even touch the fish as the Whiscash as the fish maximizes its Special Defense with a third Amnesia. Aggron begins its offensive with a Dragon Claw, brutally damaging the startled fish who retorts with a Surf, knocking the rock beast down to the hard floor. Aggron tries another, equally unsuccessful Thunder. Whiscash's Earthquake gives Wallace a 4-1 lead!_

Lolcat knew something was up with this battle. Aggron could have easily won that match-up.

_Steven's final Pokemon is Metagross, but Whiscash can outpace the hulking Metagross and land an Earthquake on it before Metagross lands a Psychic attack._

At least Steven made up for the last few rounds with that, thought Lolcat.

_"Go, Ludicolo!" announces Wallace, "Use Leech Seed!"_

Lolcat didn't bother to watch the last few turns, he knew the battle would end 3-0 in favor of Wallace. TV time was over; it was time to go to sleep. The crowd around the television dispersed as well.

The next morning, Lolcat woke up and immediately rushed to Vermilion Gym and registered a challenge with Lt. Surge. Since challenges are run on a first come, first serve basis, Lt. Surge accepted the battle on one condition.

"Before we battle, you have to solve the puzzle of the Vermilion Gym! That will include battling three of my finest apprentices as well, so you better be on your game!"

Lolcat battled the first Gym Trainer who sent out a Pikachu to battle Gloom. At long last, Gloom could unleash the new attack he had talked about for so long.

Gloom told Lolcat, "Are you ready to see my secret technique?" Gloom then pulled a syringe from its flower and shot it into its own arm. The words "Gloom used Acid!" appeared in Lolcat's mind. Gloom then massacred the Trainer in a drug-spurred rampage. Dugtrio then smote the last two Trainers with super-powered Ground attacks and Lolcat dug through garbage to find Lt. Surge in the back.

"I solved your puzzle. Battle me."

Surge began his speech about the Vermilion Gym: "You won't last a minute in combat with me! You'll need some ENERGY to power through a challenger, and with your puny power you won't last a second! Back in the war my Pokemon saved my ass! I threw Voltorbs at civilians and am wanted in 27 countries for war crimes! I'm the REAL DEAL, kid!"

The battle began, and Lolcat threw out a Dugtrio to combat the combatant's Voltorb.

"You know, Lt. Surge..."

Dugtrio dug a hole!

"For someone who loves war so much..."

Dugtrio used Dig!

"You should know a little more about trench warfare!"

Foe Voltorb, Pikachu, Raichu Fainted!

Lt Surge growled, "Graaaaagh! Who was the moron who put my Gym right next to the fucking Diglett cave! All Trainers fucking do is catch a fucking Diglett and rape my Gym! Whoever runs the Pokemon League must be an idiot, as this Gym is almost as easy as Brock's! RRRRRRRAAAAAAAGGGRGRGRGRRREEEEEE1!1!one!"  
As Lt. Surge went on about how poorly located his Gym is, Lolcat took a Thunderbadge from the back of Lt. Surge's Gym. He also took a TM for the move Shock Wave, though it's doubtful that he'll actually teach his Pokemon such a weak move

**End of Part 6**

* * *

**Team Status:**

**Alive:**

Dugtrio, Level 30, Careful  
-Dig  
-Fury Swipes  
-Sand Tomb  
-Mud-slap

Fearow, Level 25, Jolly  
-Peck  
-Growl  
-Leer  
-Fury Attack

Gloom, Level 25, Naïve  
-Absorb  
-Acid  
-Bullet Seed  
-Sleep Powder

**In Box:**

Assorted weak Pokemon, levels 3-12

**Dead:**

Wartortle, Level 21

Butterfree, Level 19

Butterfree, Level 12

* * *

This was most of a story/plot chapter, so sorry for the lack of action! Stay tuned for the next chapter, and please read and review if you have anything to say!

See you next chapter!


	8. Part 7- Three Days to Lavender

I do not own Pokemon. This story is only for entertainment purposes.

* * *

Cycling out of Vermilion City with a third Badge in tow, Lolcat pulled out his Town Map and made way for Lavender Town. Routes 11 and 12 connect Vermilion to Lavender, but the Routes were so tiny that the journey only takes half a day. Lavender Town rests on the east coast of Kanto and contains the second-largest building in the country: Pokemon Tower. Although Pokemon Tower would seem like a tourist attraction the size of Silph. Co, most Trainers hope to never see the inside of the building. Pokemon Tower is the world's largest Pokemon graveyard, dwarfing Sinnoh's Lost Tower, Unova's Celestial Tower, and even Hoenn's massive Mt. Pyre. Lolcat's reason for venturing to morbid Lavender Town was twofold: the first was to give Wartortle and Butterfree proper burials, the second was to cross the Underground Path to Celadon City, home of the fourth Pokemon Gym. After defeating a half-dozen Trainers along Route 11, Lolcat cooled off in one of the guard buildings between the two Routes.

With plenty of daylight remaining, Lolcat took a breather and shot the breeze with one of the security guards.

"So, Officer," began Lolcat, "About how much further is to Lavender Town? Just an hour or two by Bicycle, right?'

"Oh, no. Sorry, kid," replied the policeman, "But the Route 11-12 junction is cut off. You see, a Snorlax moved into the area about a week ago, and nobody's been able to move it since. The only way to Lavender Town is through Rock Tunnel via Cerulean City."

"Damn! Oh, well. Thanks, Officer." concluded Lolcat.

Since the only way back to Cerulean City is back through Vermilion (and Vermilion was not a long ways away), Lolcat ascended the guard tower's stairs to view the surrounding area with binoculars. Peering into the small white eye-holes, Lolcat saw Kanto with a bird's-eye view. To the east lat a vast blue ocean with crisscrossing docks on top and a very large bear-like Pokemon in the middle. That must be the Snorlax that's blocking the way. To the north was Lavender Town's Pokemon Tower, the largest Pokemon cemetery on the planet. A small town, Lavender Town, surrounded the tower. To the north was a brown, thin rocky trail riddled with ledges leading up to a gigantic cave: the Rock Tunnel. A Pokemon Center was located on the far side of the Tunnel, and to the north was the field known as Route 9 that connected Cerulean City and Rock Tunnel. Therefore, the easiest path to Lavender Town was Vermilion to Cerulean to Route 9 to Rock Tunnel to Lavender.

Deciding that the trip would last only three days (not counting today, of course) if Lolcat moved quickly, Lolcat ran out of the guard shack and began to trek through Route 11 to Vermilion City. As he traversed the green route again, Lolcat explored the area more thoroughly and used the opportunity to train his Pokemon against the numerous Trainers. The Route was plagued by a new type of Trainer known as the Gamer, gambling addicts that commonly use Fire-type Pokemon such as Vulpix and Growlithe. Giving Fearow some much-needed battle experience, Lolcat ravaged the Trainers with a large level advantage.

The trail curved, turned, and twisted for miles with numerous Pokemon battles in between, all ending with a Fearow sweep or a Dugtrio sweep in case of Electric-types. After about two hours of trudging through a field and knocking out enemy Trainers, Lolcat passed by the Diglett Cave again, remembering Wartortle's and Butterfree's sacrifice to bring Dugtrio to the team to beat Lt. Surge. As the sun retreated below the horizon, Lolcat retreated back to Vermilion's Pokemon Center to rest before the three-day adventure before him.

In the Center, the TVs were tuned into KNN with a special report on the Team Rocket incident in Saffron City. A lone man, KNN's Don Golem, is standing in a large grassy field near an Underground Passage building. A heavily barricaded Kanto Police guard tower was in the distance, artificial spotlights illuminating the horizon. It was late at night; a full moon loomed over the ominous scene. The man spoke softly and soothingly, even though the area he was in is stricken by distress and rampant crime.

_This is KNN's Don Golem reporting from Route 7, Central Kanto, right outside of Saffron City. It has been two weeks since Team Rocket invaded the Silph Corporation's headquarters, and still no progress has been made expelling the Rockets from the area. Not even the Cerulean Police Department, the best police force in the country, has been able to stop Team Rocket. Negotiations have ceased since the second firefight outside the Main Building where seventeen civilian casualties have occurred. Every person in Kanto's second largest city is under constant surveillance by Rocket officials despite constant pressure by local Police agents. Saffron City is located next to Celadon City, where Team Rocket houses the majority of its personnel. It is estimated that over one in eight residents__of Celadon City is affiliated with Team Rocket, and many Celadon Rockets are moving over to Saffron in order to secure the capture of the Silph Corporation, owners of the Kanto and Johto branches of Pokemart International. Because of this, security around Saffron has become ultra-tight, and Rockets have almost taken over the entirety of the city's interior including the Dojo, Silph Building, and the Pokemon Gym. This concludes the KNN Special Report_

Lolcat, thinking about the events in Saffron City, realizes that he'll have to travel to Saffron City in the upcoming months, and that the Rocket incident could last that long. Lolcat says a quick prayer to Mew before nodding off to sleep...

The next morning, Lolcat beg the three-day trek to Lavender Town. This first day of the journey was no problem, just a simple walk from Vermilion City to Cerulean City. Since Lolcat planned to spend only about two hours walking today, he slept in and refreshed his Pokemon before beginning the journey. After a good night's sleep, Lolcat bid farewell to Vermilion's brown buildings and seaside docks and plodded northward to Route 6.

Route 6 was no different than it was in the past; just a dusty path winding through a grassy field with some Trainers in the area. Lolcat had already defeated these Trainers on his first trip between Vermilion and Cerulean, so there was no need to battle any of them. After what felt like a few minutes Lolcat spotted the entrance to the Underground Path between Vermilion and Cerulean, so he opened the door and began to trek through the subterranean passage.

The path was dark as always. Remembering the news report, Lolcat realized that just a few hundred feet above him was Saffron City. There could be a firefight going on right above Lolcat and he couldn't do a thing about it. Although the fact that the city above him was under siege was disturbing, Lolcat solemnly walked through the dark tunnel and emerged on Route 5.

Back on Route 5, Lolcat passed by the Day-Care house but decided not to submit a Pokemon for training. Lolcat's three Pokemon got to where they are today through hard work and sacrifice, not pampering and excessive care. Route 5 is considerably shorter than most other Routes, and Lolcat was walking through Cerulean City's gate before he knew it.

Inside the bustling city, Lolcat passed by a Lass trying to teach her Slowbro how to battle. Lolcat watched just to hear Slowbro's derp-tastic cry of "Slow...bro". Needless to say, the lazy Pokemon didn't learn any new moves from the training. It was only four o' clock in the afternoon, so Lolcat used the last few hours of the day to explore the rest of the city in case he missed anything in his first visit. The only house that Lolcat had not explored in his first visit was that of a man who explained the function of the eight Kanto Gym Badges.

"Oh, hello Trainer. Did you come to seek information about the 8 Badges? Each Badge has a specific function: either allowing the use of a Hidden Machine, commanding the respect of stronger Pokemon, or making your Pokemon a pinch more powerful. It seems you have three Badges at the moment: the Boulderbadge, the Cascadebadge, and the Thunderbadge. Because of that, you can use Flash and Fly outside of battle. Your Pokemon will have raised Attack and Speed, and any traded Pokemon will obey you provided it is under Level 30. The next Badge for you is probably the Rainbowbadge, which commands the respect of Pokemon under Level 50 and lets you use Strength outside of battle. Thank you for listening, and good luck in your quest for badges."

After hearing the old man's speech, Lolcat wandered until about 7:00 and then checked into Cerulean Pokemon Center for the night. The second day of his trek involved traveling from Cerulean to Rock Tunnel, a full day's journey. Therefore, he slumbered at 8 PM, but that recurring dream decided to haunt him in the night...

_Ah, Lolcat. Still fighting for that stupid dream, I presume. Perhaps I need to enlighten you a bit about your future. You understand, I am part of something much bigger than you...much bigger than you could hope to comprehend, and you cannot be allowed to continue your Pokemon journey because it would...disrupt me. You know__you've already lost your starter Pokemon; the Pokemon that you placed above all others for the past two months? How can you live with yourself after watching your favorite partner fall in battle, never to be seen again? Dozens more will fall before your very eyes unless you end this ludicrous challenge. People and Pokemon will get hurt. People and Pokemon will die. Not just in Kanto, but all around the world! Thousands will die if _you _continue this misguided quest, and I will be there in the end to laugh at your misery. Goodnight, Lolcat, don't let the guilt bugs bite..._

This dream has visited Lolcat about five times now, and even though it tried a new method of deterring Lolcat from realizing his destiny it didn't matter. It was time to saddle up and visit an unexplored Route, which means less story and more damn action! Saying his goodbyes to Cerulean for the second time, Lolcat mounted his Bicycle and circled the city until he arrives at the Route 9 intersection and orders Ch'Ding the Farfetch'd to chop down the trees guarding Route 9.

Immediately after Lolcat chopped down the tree, the terrain transformed from a standard grassy field into the base of a rocky mountain. Rock Tunnel was much closer to Cerulean City than Lolcat had first assumed.A Picnicker blocking the waychallenged Lolcat to a battle. Though the girl's four Pokemon outnumbered Lolcat's three, they were all of the Grass type and madebite-sized snacks for Fearow. After collecting the prize money, Lolcat spotteda Hiker in the distance, and placed Gloom at the front of the party. As Lolcat was about to challenge the Hiker, he stepped on some dirt that crunched a little. Curious to what was there, Lolcat dug around a bit and found a Technical Machine buried underground. The TM contained Aerial Ace which Lolcat used right away. However, the question was to teach it to Fearow or Dugtrio. It would get STAB on Fearow, but Fearow will eventually learn Drill Peck. This is also Dugtrio's only chance to learn a Flying move. However, Aerial Ace isn't strong enough to kill many Grass Pokemon, and most Bugs or Fighters won't be that threatening to Dugtrio, so the choice was Fearow. Lolcat deleted Growl because it is incredibly useless.

The Hiker was next. The man produced two Pokeballs: one containing a Machop, the other an Onix. Neither could hope to touch Gloom while Gloom unloaded Bullet Seeds on the opposing team. The perilous road twisted and declined for about twenty more minutes until Lolcat found a fork in the road. The road branched into three directions: north, east, and south. Since the north path is closest to Lolcat, he decides to explore the northern part of the Route.

After about five minutes of walking through the path, the rocky terrain became green again. Two Trainers gathered around a sign notifying that this Route was the pathway between Rock Tunnel and Cerulean City. The two Trainers, a Bug Catcher and a Camper, decided to do battle with Lolcat. The Camper surprisingly stocked up on Fire-types, so Dugtrio did the heavy lifting this time. The Bug Catcher unsurprisingly possessed fully-evolved Bug-types. The luck gods were not with him today, as his Beedrill duo was unable to connect with Fury Attack many times before being corroded by Gloom's Acid.

After ten or so more minutes of walking, Lolcat realized that he had walked in a circle; the only thing between him and Cerulean was a large patch of tall grass. However, a new grass patch is a new opportunity to capture a Pokemon for the team. The Pokemon that decided to challenge Lolcat to a duel was none other than a Rattata. Rattata could make a good addition to the team if it wasn't outclassed by Fearow, so Lolcat decided to use it as a backup if Fearow were to fall (knock on Sudowoodo) in battle anytime soon.

Lolcat made the circle around the Route, realizing that he was wasting a lot of time with backtracking and it was already about 2:00 in the afternoon. Back at the crossroads, Lolcat determined that the bast path to take is the east one, as the Rock Tunnel is obviously to the east. The path is straight and long; it was almost 4:00 before Lolcat arrived at the other side. Fearow beat up a Bug Catcher's tiny Bug Pokemon along the way. After that battle, the path branched in another three directions: back west, east, and north. The east path terminated in a visible dead end, so the north path was the most reasonable. Lolcat trudges down that path until about 5:00 when he destroyed a Hiker with Gloom.

Another hour passed until Lolcat jumped down another set of ledges and dueled a Picnicker with a Meowth. Though this writer loves cats, he commanded Lolcat to command Fearow to knock out the cat and continue on the journey. But again, the path split in three: southeast, southwest, and east. Since the sun was racing for the ground and Lolcat desired to rest in the Pokemon Center, he decides to head west. His decision is rewarded by a sign reading: "Route 10". Since Route 10 is another new Route, it's a potential new teammate. However, Lolcat's been doing well with only three Pokemon, so he's a bit reluctant to spread the experience points around. Deciding to give the grass a fair chance, he finds a Level 11 Ekans.

Yeah, no sale. Have fun being Fearow food!

Lolcat continued south and saw a red roof in the distance. It was the Route 10 Pokemon Center outside of Rock Tunnel. Lolcat checked in for the night and felt glad to be almost done with this journey. The only difficult part now is traversing Rock Tunnel tomorrow. However, because there was nothing on TV and Lolcat needed a good sleep, he went to bed early again to prepare for another long day of hiking.

The next morning, Lolcat checked out of the Pokemon Center and entered Rock Tunnel after beating a Picnicker. (why is everyone having picnics out here? It's the middle ofnowhere)

The first order of business is to acquire a new Pokemon for the team, if necessary. Lolcat has unused Rock Tomb and Brick Break TMs, so a Rock or Fighting type is welcome to the team. Also, it's good type coverage that the Normal/Ground/Grass core does not have.

The cave was dark. Really dark. However, the Town Map that Lolcat carried helped him navigate the passage well. As he followed the instructions on the Map, a wild Geodude attacked him. Deciding it was high time to take in another Pokemon, Lolcat Sleep Powdered the rock and encapsulated it in a spare Pokeball. The Pokedex entry for it is quite peculiar, too:

"Its round form makes it easy to pick up. Some people have used them to hurl at each other in a snowball fight". Hmm...doesn't Geodude weight fifty pounds? Who does this? Black Belts? Bruno? I doubt people who have snowball fights actually do this...

Lolcat Dug out of the Tunnel and healed the new Pokemon. Since it's a good ten levels lower than the rest of the team, it will receive some grinding to catch up. Rock Tunnel and all its Zubats seem like a good place to train, so Lolcat placed the new Pokemon at the head of the party and descended into the cavern again. With both Rock and Ground STAB moves, Geodude would apparently not need a lot of babying to catch up to the team. As Lolcat felled a Zubat, a voice came in the distance.

"Hee hee hee, let's fight Pokemon!"

A Pokemaniac entered Lolcat's field of vision, sending out a Cubone. Gloom had to beat this guy for Geodude, as Geodude had a type disadvantage against the man. After Gloom's victory, Lolcat went back to training Geodude. Few Pokemon stood in Lolcat's way, and eventually, he hit a manhole with a ladder inside. It fell to the basement floor, where Lolcat continued his exploration. A second Pokemaniac arrived and notified Lolcat that he draws Pokemon illustrations during his spare time. Creepy. Gloom killed his Slowpoke. Dammit, why do the Trainers have Pokemon that beat Geodude?

After a bit more grinding Lolcat remembered to check the Geodude's Nature to determine any boosts or hindrances. Careful. Not bad. Another Picnicker challenged Lolcat, but her Grass Pokemon were destroyed by Fearow's Aerial Ace. After the Picnicker, Lolcat felt his way through the cave and found a Pokemaniac with the standard creepy quote:

"Have you ever heard of Pokemon cosplay?"

So, dressing up like a Pokemon and stalking Trainers in a dark cave. Sickening. Geodude and Gloom took this clown down, and Lolcat would have called the Police but they're all gone battling Team Rocket. After the Pokemaniac was a Hiker with a Geodude. This rock monster outleveled Lolcat's, so Lolcat let Gloom do the dirty work. The cave's gray floor led to a ladder leading up to the top floor, but there was still no end in sight. Another hour of trekking led Lolcat to another Hiker. Geodude took out the Onixes and Gloom took out the Geodude.

Lolcat continued meandering through the cave, wondering how much further it is to Lavender Town. From the binoculars on Route 11 the cave didn't look all that big, but it's much bigger in person. Geodude tried to learn Selfdestruct, but common sense told Lolcat not to teach it the move. The dark cave twisted and turned, and Geodude battled a wild Zubat. Geodude had been fighting for a few hours now, and Zubat outpaced Geodude. Zubat landed a critical Bite on the Geodude, who survived with only seven HP. Since one more attack could be fatal for Geodude, Lolcat decided to use Dugtrio's Dig to return to the surface.

After a short rest in the Pokemon Center, Lolcat decided that there's enough time left in the day to make it to Lavender Town, even if it meant arriving in the middle of the night. The cave was much easier to navigate a second time, however, and Geodude was much tougher this time. Lolcat easily reached his previous position in a matter of minutes and battled the next Hiker. Geodude and Gloom take down the Hikers, Pokemaniacs, and Picnickers (Picnics? In a freaking cave?) until he spotted another manhole. Another Picnicker ran up to Lolcat and told him:

"Eek! Don't try anything in the dark!" So a girl comes up to Lolcat and asks him not to hurt her? Even though Lolcat never would have seen her if she never acknowledged him? What logic this girl possesses! Two more Picnickers later, Lolcat saw a flicker of light in the distance. It looks like the end of the cave! Lolcat dashes out of the cave, but the light was only from a lantern signifying the exit. The time was about midnight.

Lolcat, on the other side of Route 10, runs towards the gigantic Tower in the distance, but is stopped by a Pokemaniac who demands a battle. Gloom took a cricital Confusionfrom a Slowpoke and survived with a single digit of HP while Dugtrio cleaned up. The team was looking stronger, and Geodude gained seven levels inside the cave. Eventually, Lolcat took his first step inside of Lavender Town.

The air of Lavender Town chilled Lolcat's spine. The streets of Lavender were empty and barren, and the only lit building in the city was Pokemon Tower. Truly, this place looked like a ghost town. Not wanting to keep his eyes open for another minute, Lolcat crept into the Pokemon Center and fell asleep.

The next morning, Lolcat decided that it was time to visit Pokemon Tower and pay Wartortle and Butterfree some respects. He left the Pokemon Center with his rested team and ran to the Tower. It wasn't time to explore the city; Lolcat would do that next chapter...errr...tomorrow! The tower had a green exterior, and a few Channelers were interpreting Pokemon wills for Trainers. Lolcat asked a local Channeler which floor Wartortle and Butterfree were buried on, and the woman replied that the pair are buried on the third floor. Lolcat thanked the woman and proceeded up the stairs.

On the second floor there was nobody around. Lolcat looked at and mourned the Pokemon that were killed in battle, even for complete strangers. It's disheartening to see a Pokemon die, and Lolcat was taken aback by something he heard in the distance...

"Ha! That loser lost his Wartortle already! Oh, Lolcat! Saw your Wartortle got beaten! So, how about the rest of your team!"

Blue's question was rhetorical. Although Lolcat searched for time alone with Wartortle and Butterfree, he found only unwanted company: company that wanted Lolcat's four Pokemon to join the other two.

The arena was the second floor of Pokemon Tower: a silent, empty hall of tombstones and Pokemon cadavers. Not the most respectful place for a battle, but Blue wasn't taking no for an answer.

The two rivals flung one Ball each: Blue's Pidgeotto and Lolcat's Geodude glared at each other until Pidgeotto made the first move. Pidgeotto's lightning-fast Quick Attack barely dented Geodude's exterior. Despite being the slower of the two combatants, Geodude made his presence known by crushing the bird with a Thrown Rock. One weak attack from Pidgeotto later, and Geodude evened the score at four Pokemon apiece.

"Hey, Lolcat! Look at this! It's a starter Pokemon! Bet you wish you had one! Yep, it's a true-blue, Oak-bred, rare Pokemon that's all mine! I bet you forgot what yours even looks like! Go, Ivysaur!"

Lolcat held himself back and used every bit of mental fortitude he possessed to prevent himself from clocking Blue in the throat. Calmly, Lolcat caught his breath and withdrew Geodude in favor of Fearow. As Lolcat was adjusting his active Pokemon, Blue ordered Ivysaur to smack Fearow in the face with the vines on his back. However, that was Ivysaur's last move; Fearow swooped into the battle and ripped Ivysaur's flower off with an Aerial Ace. Game over, Ivysaur.

Blue made a boneheaded move. Enraged at his Ivysaur's defeat, Blue threw out a Ball containing a Gyarados. This blue, twenty-foot long atrocity filled up the stage and cracked at least ten deceased Pokemon's headstones. Lolcat was irate at Blue's lack of concern:

"Blue, you moron! You'll bring down this entire building with that Gyarados!"

The spiky-haired fool didn't care. "Then let it kill your lousy team so I can put it back! Gyarados, Thrash that joker's team before this whole Arceus-damn building falls to the floor!"

While Blue was fuming, Lolcat let Geodude return to the battle and take a Thrash attack. Gyarados continued smashing into walls, tombstones, and Geodude as the rock monster prepared a Rock Throw to put out the serpent. Gyarados' Thrash attack lasted three long turns, but the atrocity only absorbed two Rock Throws before being knocked out. Kadabra rounded out Blue's team, and the speedy Psychic readied a Calm Mind as Lolcat sent Dugtrio into battle. One Dig attack from the agile Dugtrio launched Kadabra into the ceiling and back into Blue's Pokeball. Growlithe was Blue's ringer, but the Poke-puppy couldn't withstand a Dig attack from Lolcat's most powerful Pokemon.

The second level of Pokemon Tower was leveled, but Blue disappeared in a flash. What was Blue even doing in Pokemon Tower to begin with? It was a question Lolcat would have to save for later, as by the time the man turned around his rival was downstairs. Although Blue would normally be arrested for what he did to the sacred Tower, the Police were busy curtailing the war in Saffron City. As Lolcat pondered the lawlessness engulfing Kanto, Geodude escaped his Pokeball and started glowing in a white light. Lolcat identified that he was about to evolve into Graveler. Geodude's body started expanding and he grew another pair of arms. His rocky, circular body grew immensely, and his arms no longer took up half his body weight. Graveler was large, had a full body, and his Attack power is going to raise a lot because of this.

No Wartortle, no Butterfree. But this journey was getting a hell of a lot better.

**End of Part Seven**

Team Status:

**Alive:**

Fearow, Level 30, Jolly

-Peck

-Fury Attack

-Aerial Ace**  
**

-Leer

Graveler, Level 25, Careful

-Mud Sport

-Defense Curl

-Magnitude

-Rock Throw

Dugtrio, Level 32, Careful

-Mud-Slap

-Dig

-Sand Tomb

-Fury Swipes

Gloom, Level 30, Naive**  
**

-Absorb**  
**

-Acid**  
**

-Sleep Powder**  
**

-Bullet Seed

And Ch'Ding the Cut Slave

**Boxed:**

Assorted weak Pokemon, mostly to serve as backups.

**Dead:**

Wartortle, Level 21

Butterfree, Level 19

Butterfree, Level 12

* * *

Thank you for reading! The action is going to start ramping up soon, as Lolcat will journey to Celadon City, atop Pokemon Tower, and all over Kanto sooner than later! Read and Review, please! Every little review matters! :)


	9. Part 8-Game Corner Royale

I do not own Pokemon. This story is only for entertainment purposes.  
**Part Eight: Game Corner Royale**

* * *

Lolcat slowly descended the ornate steps in Pokemon Tower, bowing his head and paying respects to the countless fallen Pokemon buried here. It's true what is said about Lavender Town: it's the religious center of Kanto. Although most see lavender as nothing more than Pokemon Tower, it's actually the third-largest city in Kanto. Lolcat treads out of Pokemon Tower and through the quiet streets until a billboard catches his eye:

"New Silph Scope illuminates the invisible! Examine the ghosts of Pokemon Tower for only 9999 Pokedollars, coming to a Pokemart near you in only six months!"

Lolcat thought about Silph Co. It's the second-largest corporation in Kanto next to Pokemon Center-Kanto Division. They recently bought Kanto Pokemon Marts from the failing Pokemart International, and their headquarters lie in Saffron City. After a few minutes of walking and thinking, Lolcat arrives in the Pokemon Center to heal his team after his bout with Blue.

However, outside the Pokemon Center there was a surprising scene. A dozen people wearing Cubone costumes are standing outside the Pokemon Center doors, chanting,

"Down with Team Rocket! Down with Team Rocket!" The scene is rather peculiar, so Lolcat walks up to one of the protesters and asks him why everyone is dressed so oddly. The angered citizen replies,

"Haven't you heard? Last week Team Rocket attacked Pokemon Tower! Since nearly the entire Kanto Police Force is battling them in Saffron, the rest of Kanto is at Team Rocket's mercy. Last week, about ten or fifteen Rocket goons invaded Pokemon Tower with guns blazing. The Channelers foresaw the attack and guided many Lavender residents to safety, but the guardian of Pokemon Tower, the Marowak, stood and defended everybody from the Rockets. He was brutally murdered, and that's why we're protesting. That Marowak has been an icon of Lavender Town for years, and the Rockets killed it like it was a common Weedle. The Marowak was a new mother, too. Her lone child wears Marowak's skull as a symbol of remembrance..."

Lolcat was taken aback at the man's speech. What Team Rocket did to Lavender Town was unforgivable, and Lolcat made it his mission to make Team Rocket pay for its crime. However, Saffron City's still under lock-down, so there's no way to challenge Team Rocket there. Although there is no way to challenge Team Rocket in Saffron, there is a way into the Team Rocket capital of Kanto: Celadon City. Celadon is the largest city in Kanto, dwarfing even Saffron in terms of population. However, a recent KNN documentary stated that one in eight people in Celadon City is affiliated with Team Rocket and that the Rocket Game Corner is the source of their revenue.

After speaking to the kind protesters, Lolcat decided to forgo exploring Lavender Town and focus solely on reaching Celadon City. Unfurling the Town Map, Lolcat sees that the quickest route to Celadon is through the Route 7-8 Underground Path. Since the day is young, Lolcat walks west of Lavender Town and into Route 8. The Route is much like any other Route: a grassy field crisscrossed by dirt trails and numerous Trainers dueling on the grass. Following standard new Route protocol, Lolcat makes a beeline for the nearest grass patch and the next new Pokemon, but his advance is stopped by an old Gambler and his pair of Fire-type Pokemon. Graveler's Magnitude dispatched them both.

Route 8 is different than the other Routes Lolcat's seen in the recent past, however, in that the wild Pokemon are contained in a fence. Frafetch'd Cut down a small tree to enter the area. Lolcat pulled up Route 8's info on his Pokedex and sees that four different species of Pokemon inhabit the Route: Pidgey, Ekans, Meowth, and Growlithe. Pidgey and Meowth aren't very powerful and Ekans is just plain useless, but a Growlithe could be a valuable addition to the Nuzlocke team. Delving into the grass, Lolcat encountered a small Meowth in the grass. The Meowth was caught, mostly for Pickup and to replace Farfetch'd as Lolcat's personal tree Cutter.

After making a short trip back to Lavender's Pokemon Center to deposit Farfetch'd, Lolcat continued down Route 8 and was flagged down by a Super Nerd and his Poison-type team. Graveler is still at a lower level than the rest of the team, so Lolcat trained the rock beast against the two Grimer and one Muk. The road twisted a little further, and after five more minutes of strolling down the dusty path Lolcat encountered a set of twins. Deciding that he should practice his 2v2 skills, Lolcat challenges the two Trainers to a quick doubles match. The twins possessed a Jigglypuff and Clefairy that just couldn't stand up to Fearow's Aerial Ace or Graveler's Magnitude.

After a few minutes more of traversing the Route, Lolcat saw a Super Nerd in the distance. However, this Super Nerd seems to be different than other Super Nerds that Lolcat has seen in the past, as this Nerd is being escorted by a trio of Lasses. The man also wore a black fedora with an ornate feather on it, which most Super Nerds don't wear. Lolcat approaches the Nerd and asks him about his outfit:

"So, your Trainer class is Super Nerd... You really don't look the part here!"

"Yo dawg, cool da nerd talk in fronna da ladies, ya hear? I wazza SN back in da day, but I be reformed, dawg, ya understand? Imma gotta posse of lay-dees now and dey call me da Big Money Cashmasta on dis side of Saffron. So, ya wanna rent one of my women fo' a couple thowsand Pokey-dollars o' what?"

"Uh, I think I'll pass"

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS... ... ...Sawwy, dawg, dat was the SN inside me tawkin'. Well, I be a lil' bored now, so why dontcha battle a cupple ladies, no? Yo, Megz, gecho' fine ass ova here and show this trick how to battle some Pokey-mans!"

The scantily dressed lady possessed five Pokemon, more than any Trainer Lolcat's seen before. However, three of them had a type weakness to Rock or Ground, and the other two were a Rattata and Meowth: not really defensive behemoths. Five one-hit-KOs later, the lady was defeated and the pimp continued speaking.

"Damn, foo', you can ball! Well, dawg, wanna try your Pokey-mans 'ganst my bottom bitch? Andrea, git ovah here and show dis' trick what Big Daddy taught ya!"

The female possessed three Meowth, and though Lolcat is a professed cat lover, what has to be done has to be done. Graveler made short work of them. Lolcat's Meowth's Pickup procured him a Nugget, too. After the girl's embarrassing defeat, the Super Nerd decides to speak to Lolcat once again:

"Dawg, why you be treatin' my ladies so bad? Foo', you respect my women, and if you mess with da bitches, you mess with me!"

The Super Pimp released a single Pokemon: a Koffing. Graveler started off the battle with a Rock Throw, but the smog ball was able to dodge it and retaliate with a Smokescreen. Angry, Lolcat ordered Graveler to perform a second Rock Throw, but the attack failed again. The Koffing unleashed a Smog attack which landed a critical hit for a whopping two points of damage. After recovering from the assault, Lolcat ordered a third Rock Throw from Graveler, which at least scratched Koffing. The Pimp declares,

"Koffing, Show dat foo' some sssssludge!"

The ball-like Pokemon shoots a poison wave at Graveler, who falls to the ground in pain. Lolcat becomes worried, as Graveler should have taken that attack without trouble.

"Graveler! Come on, you resist that attack four times! Shake it off!"

The Pokemon stood up, but coughing and hacking.

**Graveler is hurt by poison!**

Lolcat knew he has to act fast. It was obvious that that Koffing needs to die quickly, but it probably knows Selfdestruct, too. Smog and Sludge both have a chance to poison, and letting a second Pokemon succumb to poison is out of the question. The choice is easy: Gloom. Gloom has the second-highest Defense on the team and a poison immunity, so it's the logical choice. Lolcat gives the order,

"Graveler, return! Go, Gloom!"

Gloom walks onto the battlefield as Koffing lets loose another Sludge attack. She fires off a Sleep Powder, but the attack misses and Koffing retaliates with a Smokescreen. Another Sleep Powder misses and Koffing shoots out a second Smokescreen. Sleep Powder's accuracy has been reduced twice, so Gloom is fighting an uphill battle. The fear of losing a Pokemon creeps down Lolcat's spine.

Gloom needs to regain her eyesight, but Koffing's threat of Self-destruction prevents a safe switch. Graveler would be the best choice, but the rock monster needs to preserve its health for the rescue trip back to Lavender. However, Fearow might be able to knock out the Koffing if he survives a hit. Graveler's Rock Throw knocked Koffing down, so Fearow's Aerial Ace should finish it off since Graveler's and Fearow's Attack power differ by only a single point.

Lolcat recalls Gloom and throws out his Flying-type Pokemon, Fearow. Koffing begins with a Smokescreen, but "Fearow's Keen Eye prevents Accuracy loss!"

Fearow counters the failed attack with an Aerial Ace, and Koffing's HP starts dropping into the yellow, then the red. Fearow's life depends on if Koffing can take the hit, as it will undoubtedly retaliate with Selfdestruct. The last sliver of Koffing's health disappears, and the Super Pimp admits defeat.

Lolcat doesn't stick around to hear the man's speech, as he's not out of the woods yet. Graveler still has only thirty HP, and Celadon City is still miles away. Therefore, the smartest move is to return to Lavender Pokemon Center and pray Graveler can hold out. Lolcat runs quickly to the town, hoping that Graveler can endure the pain for a few minutes more.

It wasn't close. Graveler took the poison like a champ and erased Lolcat's worries as Lolcat strode into the Pokemon Center. He politely but hurriedly asks the Nurse to heal his Pokemon, and the Nurse agrees. The Pokeballs are placed into the white healing machine, and within a few seconds the Pokemon are as good as new.

After thanking the Nurse, Lolcat exited the eerie town and walked back to his previous location by the Super Pimp and trudged south towards a small gang of Bikers. One of the motorists approached Lolcat and declared,

"Hey! Kid with the red hat! You lost or something, as this half of Route 8 belongs to the Kanto Biker Federation! Anyone who doesn't want their Pokemon to get tied in a knot knows to stay away from this side of Celadon! Show him, Grimer!"

The man had two Grimers. Lolcat had one Graveler. Guess who won.

The motorist rode off in anger, and Lolcat continued down the twisty trail called Route 8. Soon enough, a second Biker challenged Lolcat to a battle. This Biker also possessed a Koffing, but this Koffing was of weaker and couldn't stand up to Graveler's Rock Throw. Graveler tried to learn Rollout, but Rollout was too risky a move for the Nuzlocke Challenge. The Biker continued with another Koffing, but the second Koffing met a similar fate.

After that uneventful match, Lolcat proceeded north where two buildings stand in front of him, each with a sign to notify pedestrians what is inside

The building to the left is the gate guarding Saffron City. A Police blockade occupies that path to prevent more Rockets from invading Lavender Town as they had last week. The other building to the north was guarded by a lone Super Nerd, so Lolcat gave it a try. The Nerd, as most Trainers do, challenged Lolcat to a battle. His four Pokemon were strong, but a Level 29 Graveler slew them each in one hit, rising to Level 30 in the process. Since his Graveler was on par with the rest of the team, Lolcat continued training the rest of his team, sending Gloom to the front of the party and entering the Underground Path.

This Underground Path was much like the one connecting Cerulean and Vermilion: it runs under Saffron City, but doesn't allow access into the beleaguered city. The Path is a hollowed-out subway tunnel that used to connect the two cities by train. Lolcat dashed through the tunnel, but it took half an hour before Lolcat saw light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel ended in Route 7, the shortest Route in the Kanto region. Since this area qualifies as a new Route, Lolcat searcheed through the grass for a new member of the Nuzlocke Team.

Another Meowth. Can you say Double Pickup Slaves?

Celadon City was a minute's walk from the Underground Path, so Lolcat quickly ran into the metropolis and checked into the Pokemon Center. It was already late in the afternoon, so Lolcat decides to rest early and explore Celadon City tomorrow. However, sleep didn't come easy to Lolcat, and once he started sleeping that recurring dream appeared.

This dream was unlike the previous ones. No voices appeared immediately, and no pictures accompanied the silence. Lolcat stood in the middle of a seemingly infinite white space. It was like walking on an infinite piece of printer paper, no changes in scenery as far as the eyes can swiveled in a circle, surveying his surroundings and began walking in no particular direction. After about five or ten minutes of aimlessly floating through the void, a small black ball appeared in the distance. The ball was pitch-black and floated at about four and a half feet above the ground, emanating purple sparks of energy. Lolcat raised his right hand and extended it toward the ball, and as soon as he touched it, the ball produced a pulse of energy that propelled Lolcat onto his back. The ball floated up to Lolcat and a booming, explosive voice started speaking to him, the same voice that appeared in countless dreams before this.

_You have defied me by continuing this foolish quest. Obviously, you cannot be convinced of your destiny. I know you, Lolcat. I know you better than you know yourself. You believe that just because you have trained a few Pokemon and have won a few badges that you stand a chance at the Championship. I only wish to help you, to shatter that delusion, but you will not listen. A child like you could never comprehend what I am, or what your place in the world is. The wheels of destiny are turning, the world is changing and it has no place for a little hero like you. Heh, sometimes I wonder why I even talk to you, I'm trying to help you and you just shun me... It's not even possible to_ get _into the Pokemon League without getting slaughtered by Team Rocket, anyway. If you don't remember, they own Saffron, and they'll probably take over Celadon next. Once those two dominoes fall the rest of Kanto will fall even faster. And there's a Gym in Saffron City that you're not getting into anytime soon! And even if you won the Kanto Championship, you have no idea what the rest of the world is like. And trust me, if you think Team Rocket is evil, you have no idea what organized crime is like in other regions. Pack up, Lolcat. There's just no room in this big, bad, world for a stupid little go-getter like you._

The black ball exploded, cloaking the white space in darkness and bolting Lolcat up like a knife. Lolcat had slept for twelve hours, but they felt like a second. Lolcat though about that dream but didn't know what to make of it. The journey has been going successfully ever since the Diglett Cave incident, and there were still months until the Pokemon League finals. Saffron would be free by then, and Lolcat could always wait until then before getting the Marshbadge. Still, it was peculiar that someone would try so hard to deter one person from challenging the Pokemon League. Scarier yet, this person was able to invade a man's _dreams_ to accomplish that goal. Lolcat put the dream behind him and focused on the task at hand: punishing the Rockets and winning a fourth badge.

Celadon Pokemon Center is on the east side of town, right next to the entrance. Lolcat exited that red building and traveled westward, passing numerous houses along the way. At the end of the street lie the Celadon Mansion, a luxurious, four story building owned by Game Freak, a game company that enjoys breaking the fourth wall. The owners allow visitors to enter and tour the Mansion, so Lolcat hopped in and explore the building.

The first floor was rather small. A few Game Freak employees ran up and down the stairs for meetings and discussions, and an elderly woman sat alone in a side room. Lolcat approached the woman and she began the conversation:

"Oh, hello. This suite belongs to me: the area manager of Game Freak Inc. So you're Lolcat, right? I've heard about you; I think I watched you trounce Lt. Surge a few weeks ago. You want to finish the Pokemon League challenge, no? Well, you know you'll need to go through Saffron City to get a Badge, and it'll be pretty hard to do so with all the rioting and firefights. However, I can help if you wish. You see, I have in my possession a bomb codenamed Hot Tea. You will set this bomb off exactly one mile away from the police blockade, creating a distraction that the Police will have to respond to. While the Police abandon their posts, you will sneak into the guard post from whichever side you desire to enter the city. Each of the four guard posts is under a similar blockade, so this diversion device should succeed regardless of your point of entry. Any questions?"

Lolcat had listened to a lecture before getting the chance to introduce himself.

"Well, I would love to get into Saffron City," said Lolcat politely, "Do you have your...device...on hand?"

The woman continued to speak, almost ignoring Lolcat's presence. "The parts to this bomb are not legal in Kanto. I need to get some of the explosive material from the Orre region, and my connection is currently on the lam from the Pyrite Police. I will find you in exactly one month with the bomb."

After writhing in fear of what that senior citizen could do with all her money and tea, Lolcat proceeds up the stairs to the second floor. This floor contained only an empty meeting third floor was livelier; a large group of people were discussing their most recent game. Lolcat, a big fan of video games, asks for a moment of their time.

A stout man acknowledged Lolcat, stating "I'm on the team for this game called Pokemon! It'll be a huge hit! It's about this guy who travels this land called Kanto to collect Badges and win a beast fighting tournament!"

Lolcat replied, "Can't we already do that in real life?"

The next member of the team declares that "I programmed all the areas! There's a place called Mt. Moon, Diglett's Cave, even a place based off of Celadon City! It's called Celadon City!"

Lolcat replied again, "Uh, again, all those places already exist in real life, why do we need a game to do exactly what we do normally?"

"Uh, I don't really know! But this interview is over, I need to finish designing this place called Celadon Mansion!"

Lolcat decides to leave those eccentric gentlemen alone for a while and check out the top floor. The top floor was a rooftop topped by a one-room shack. The sign on the shack read "I KNOW EVERYTHING" in capital letters. Intrigued at the inhabitant's bold claim, Lolcat entered the room. The room contained a blackboard detailing the finer points of trading Pokemon and a Pokeball labeled: "Eevee". Lolcat began to question the man:

"So, sir, could you please detail how to trade Pokemon with others?"

The man replied, "Of course! Have you not read the sign? I know everything! To trade Pokemon, all you must do is take a Pokemon and give it to someone else. Then you get one from that person. Want my Eevee?"

Although the prospect was tantalizing, Lolcat can only obtain one Pokemon from Celadon City. It would be foolish to take the Eevee and run."Uh...I'll think about it." replied Lolcat.

With the Celadon Mansion exploration over, Lolcat treks down the stairs and south to the Rocket Game Corner. The casino is smack-dab in the middle of town and consists of two buildings: the casino itself and a building where one redeems Coins for prizes. Since the redemption center is closest to the entrance, Lolcat decides to see what prizes the Game Corner has to offer. The shelves are stocked with Technical Machines, Pokeballs with prize Pokemon inside, and hold items. The prize Pokemon are Abra, Clefairy, Dratini, Scyther, and Porygon, but the Pokemon were low-leveled and , Lolcat ran back to Celadon Mansion and took up that Eevee fellow on his offer.

Back at Celadon Mansion...

"Can I have the Eevee?"

"Yeah. Go evolve it at the Dept. Store."

Lolcat walked for a few minutes down the paved roads of Celadon City until he found a skyscraper labeled Celadon Dept. Store. The purple building was massive, dwarfing even the Pokemon Mansion. Lolcat slid through the automatic glass doors and found a directory leading him to the fourth floor: Wise Man Gifts, where there was a sale on Evolution Stones. The stones cost 2100 Pokedollars each, but Lolcat has amassed almost seventy thousand in the past few months.

The man in Celadon Mansion instructed Lolcat to evolve Eevee. Lolcat would do better.

"I would like to purchase a Water Stone...and a Leaf Stone."

4200 PokeDollars are handed over. Gloom and Eevee are released from their Pokeballs. Lolcat takes out the Leaf Stone and Gloom starts feeling a bit dizzy. The flower Pokemon starts to grow five large, flimsy petals on top of its head as its body retains a murky, purple color. The final-stage beast then lets out a roar of "VILE...PLUME!" and retreats back into its Pokeball.

Eevee is the next Pokemon. Lolcat says a quick prayer, "Wartortle...This friend shall carry on your legacy." and exposes the little dog to a Water Stone. Eevee erupts in a flash of white light and its skin turns blue and rubbery. Eevee's organs shift around and the dog gains the power to expel water from its mouth. The new teammate yells: "Va...por...eON!" However, Lolcat isn't finished with his new teammate. Since Vaporeon only knows Normal-type moves, Lolcat withdrew a Water Pulse TM from his bag and placed it on Vaporeon, teaching him a strong Water attack to match its new typing.

Lolcat then descends the stairs to the second floor where TMs are sold, picking up a Secret Power TM at the stand. Fearow needs a better Normal attack than Fury Attack. With that diversion over, Lolcat bikes over to Rocket Game Corner. Back inside the casino, Lolcat spies a new face in the area, and not one that he wants to see. A Team Rocket operative, cloaked in black, is lifting a poster and installing a switch behind it. With a revitalized hatred for Team Rocket, Lolcat boldly approaches the man and says,

"Hey, Rocket goon! I don't want you in Celadon, so why don't you get lost?!"

The Rocket grunt replied in a chilling, deep voice.

"Oh, you're here at last, Mr. Lolcat? I don't like to be kept waiting. You have made an enemy of Team Rocket, and likewise Team Rocket has made an enemy of you. We have not forgotten that...setback...in Mt. Moon. Now, Team Rocket shall not be leaving Celadon. Did you know that over one-eighth of Celadon is affiliated with us? Look on the streets. You find us. Look in the houses. You find us. Now, if you wish to meet with our leader, you must defeat me. Name your game."

Lolcat thought hard about this challenge, and picked the one game he couldn't lose at:

"The game...is Pokemon."

Lolcat sent forth the team's newcomer: Vaporeon. The Rocket Grunt sent out a Raticate that met a watery grave. The man's Zubat also falls to a single Water Pulse.

"Hmm...you win this round. Fine, you have the right to enter the Rocket Hideout, but you get no more guidance than that. If you are worthy of meeting our leader, you will find him yourself. Fail, and you won't be leaving the Rocket Hideout anytime soon...heh."

The switch behind the poster revealed a flight of stairs leading under the Game Corner. The area underneath the Corner, however, was unlike anything Lolcat has ever seen before. The floors were coated in metal and Lolcat's feet clanged as he walked across, so Lolcat tiptoed across the building. The stairs back to the Game Corner immediately receded to conceal the Rocket Hideout from the residents of Celadon.

The entire complex is underground, of course. Lolcat stood between two flights of stairs: one leading back to the surface, the other leading further down. The first floor also branched in three other directions, so there were four possible courses of action. Since the stairs leading to the second underground level were the closest, Lolcat descended further into the Rocket lair.

The second underground floor was similar to the first. The stairs deposited Lolcat on the left side of the floor while a Rocket Grunt watched him from the right. The Grunt noticed Lolcat the second his feet stepped on the ground. Lolcat released Vaporeon and challenged the Grunt to a duel.

Both Trainers possessed five Pokemon, but the Grunt's Pokemon were much weaker at only Level 17. Vaporeon mowed down the Rocket with five Water Pulses, growing a level in the process. Vileplume blasted the Grunt with a storm of Sleep Powder so he couldn't notify his cronies of Lolcat's presence. The path split into two: to the north was another staircase leading further underground, and to the west was a maze of walls, tiles, and Rocket Grunts. The north passage looked much safer, so Lolcat ventured further down into the Rocket Hideout.

The third floor was much like the previous two. Lolcat treaded lightly on the metal floors up to a door leading south. Fearing that it could be a trap, he opened the door only an inch, but a Rocket Grunt immediately saw him and released a Machop. In an instant, Lolcat slung Vaporeon's Ball and sent the little fighter packing with a single Water Pulse. The Grunt sent out another Machop, but Vaporeon was too strong for the Grunt and the second Machop lasted one turn. However, instead of storming off, the Rocket Grunt stares straight at Lolcat, piercing him with his emotionless face. Then, a grin appeared on the defeated criminal's face. He began to speak with a booming, almost joyous tone:

"Ha! Hahaha! Oh, noooo! I've been defeated in a little Pokemon fight! Lolcat, do you really think you can get through the Rocket Warehouse alive? Your stealth failed you! That guy guarding the poster sent a message to our Boss, who notified us all that you're here! Now, every step you take, every door you open, every noise you hear might just be a trap the Rockets set just for you! And you'll need a Lift Key to get to the boss anyway; good luck finding a Grunt who has one of those! Heh, you're as good as dead! See ya, Lolcat! Ahahahaha!"

Stealth wouldn't help Lolcat anymore now, so Lolcat quit tiptoeing and started dashing around the metal maze. Lolcat returned to the staircase and ran down the other hall. The path turned south, and Lolcat passed countless flashing machines.

Alarms.

Just great.

The path branched as Lolcat arrived at another maze covered by green movement tiles. These specialized floor panels propelled intruders around the floor. Only the Rockets knew the way around the maze, so Lolcat wasted no time and jumped into the maze . Lolcat realizes that the best way to escape is by trial and error, so he ran into the maze and fell face first into a dead end.

The maze was small, so Lolcat saw the entire maze without having to arrive at many dead ends. For a trap in a mob leader's hideout, the spinning tiles felt like an amusement park ride. Lolcat slipped and slid along the floor until the last tile deposited him on the other side of the third floor.

Right in front of a Rocket guard.

Vaporeon leads off in the inevitable battle, and dispatches the Grunt's Rattata before the man could order an attack. The Grunt called a Raticate into battle, but the ferocious rodent was blasted back into its Ball by three shockwaves of water and a Quick Attack. Drowzee anchored his team, but the overgrown pig failed to threaten Vaporeon. Water Pulse does not KO and the annoying psychic stared right into Vaporeon's eyes with a Hypnosis attack. Vaporeon endured four attacks as he slept, which Lolcat deemed to be bullshit.

The rest of the area was devoid of Rocket Grunts and contained but two significant features: a movement tile back to the third floor staircase, and a staircase that leads to the lair's fourth underground floor. Deciding to explore further, Lolcat moved down the stairs and onto the bottom floor.

Nearly fifty feet underground, Lolcat paused and thought of the tons of metal and earth resting just above his head and how one tiny design flaw: a broken screw, a cracked piece of metal, could send the entire lair crashing into the earth. Worse yet, nobody would know what happened; the Rocket Hideout is concealed from the rest of the world and is masked by the noisy Game Corner. One Grunt stood on the final floor and the two men immediately started slinging Poke Balls. The Grunt possessed two Pokemon, a Koffing and a Zubat. Neither Pokemon survived a Water Pulse from Lolcat's Vaporeon.

Lolcat and Vaporeon stalked closer as the man backed himself into a corner. The terrified man spoke:

"Uh...please...don't hurt me! He-here, t-t-take my Lift Key, it'll let you get to the B-Boss..."

Lolcat snatched the Key from the frightened Grunt and ran up two flights of stairs back to the second floor of the complex. Back on the second floor, Lolcat faced the maze he previously avoided. The second floor's maze dwarfed the one below it. The only way to the other side is trial and error, so Lolcat stepped onto the tiles and began his second amusement park ride through Rocket Hideout.

After ten minutes of whirling and twirling, Lolcat trotted up a flight of stairs and emerged one floor below the Game Corner.

The next room was an office populated by a lone pair of Rocket guards. Lolcat eluded the two watchmen and surveyed the area. On the other side of the office lay a staircase leading back to the second floor and probably to the elevator. However, the two guards are standing directly in front of the staircase, so Lolcat simply walks by the tables and computers and challenges the black-cloaked Grunts to a pair of battles.

Vaporeon exhausts every last Water Pulse he could muster and the two Grunts fall like dominoes.

Lolcat's hunch about the elevator was correct. After moving the PP-drained Vaporeon out of the lead slot, Lolcat inserted the Lift Key into the elevator and rode to the bottom floor and the Hideout's inner sanctum. The final room is rather small. Two armed Rocket guards stand in front of a large brass door, and Lolcat's only option is to power his way through the gate. The first Rocket Grunt spoke to Lolcat before the battle:

"So, Lolcat. I'm impressed you got this far. As you might suspect, the Boss's office lies right behind this here door. However, this door can only activate if you defeat both of us guards. Your team is undoubtedly quite worn out from your journey through this metallic maze, and I'm sorry to say your journey ends here. Go, Sandshrew!"

A small sand mole emerged from the Pokeball, and Vileplume quickly mowed it down with a Bullet Seed. Ekans was the man's second Pokemon, but the snake was knocked out by a Sleep Powder and nine Bullet Seed strikes. The man let his prized Sandslash take some swipes at Vileplume, but Bullet Seed put the overgrown mole in its place.

The second guard offered a few words before his chance to take out Lolcat.

"Lolcat, Team Rocket is a gigantic criminal team. And with master Giovanni behind it, you cannot hope to end us. Look at the great works we have performed in Saffron and Lavender. One person, even a great Pokemon Master, cannot stop us alone. Even if I fall in our battle, GIOVANNI WILL DEFEAT YOU! Ekans, go!"

Ekans enters the battlefield, and Graveler steps forward to counterattack. Though Ekans Intimidates Graveler, the rock beast still strikes it down with a Magnitude 8. Sandshrew is defeated by two Magnitude 7's, and the last Arbok cannot stand up to a Magnitude 5 followed by a 7, though the cobra successfully landed two one-damage Poison Sting attacks during the battle. The poison did not linger.

The brass door lifted, and Lolcat spied a lone man surrounded by machines and ornate plants typing on a sleek, state-of-the-art laptop. Hearing the door opening, he set down the computer and waited for Lolcat to challenge him. Lolcat, hoarse with rage at Team Rocket, starts delivering a pre-battle invective at Team Rocket's mastermid:

"You...you MONSTER! How dare you send your legion of criminals to do what they did?! You single-handedly caused the death of thousands of people in Saffron and wrecked the Pokemon Tower! And for what? A little cash? A little power? You're a sick man, Giovanni, and I'm about to do to you what you did to those innocent people. Go, Graveler!"

Giovanni did not have the chance to speak, but instead threw out a single Pokeball containing an Onix. At Giovanni's command, the massive rock snake hardened its body to withstand the Magnitude 5 shock Graveler unleashed. The snake then took the offensive with a pitiful Rage attack, but a Magnitude 10 put Giovanni's Pokemon out of its misery. Giovanni spoke.

"You do not understand my motives. I seek more than money. I seek more than power. It pains me greatly to see you take up arms against me. You will do great things one day, Lolcat, and I wish to aid you and to join you. Ah, it cannot be helped. Go, Kangaskhan!"

A Kangaskhan emerged from the Pokeball.

Before Lolcat could think, Kangaskhan jumped into action and sucker punched Graveler with its clawed fist. Graveler flinched at the move while Kangaskhan maintained the offensive. The marsupial chomped down on Graveler's rocky body. Lolcat ordered a Magnitude attack as Graveler leaped into the air and crashed back down, unleashing a Magnitude 5 wave at Giovanni's Pokemon. The next round of fighting was a copy of the previous; Kangaskhan Bit into Graveler's rocky body and Graveler returned fire with a Magnitude 4. Giovanni ordered yet another Bite attack, but this attack became the turning point of the duel.

"A critical hit! Graveler Flinched!"

"Bs Hax", announces Lolcat.

Graveler had enough to take another Bite attack even if it scored a critical hit. Kangaskhan forewent Biting Graveler again and instead slugged the monster with an almighty Mega Punch which Graveler shook off. In return, Graveler let loose a rage-powered Magnitude 8 which blasted Kangaskhan into the side of Giovanni's office.

But Kangaskhan was far from finished. Kangaskhan opened its eye and rose to its feet. In an instant, Kangaskhan ran right at Graveler with an open maw. However, Graveler never felt the brunt of Kangakshan's Bite.

Fearow did. As Giovanni ordered the Bite attack, Lolcat recalled Graveler and let Fearow finished the battle.

"You did great, Graveler! Time to send in the relief! Go, Fearow!"

Fearow used Secret Power against Kangaskhan, paralyzing the lummox and preventing it from attacking Fearow. Lolcat would have felt sorry for Giovanni's poor luck, but then he remembered the Magnitude 4s and the critical hit. With a melancholic tone, Giovanni talked before continuing the fight.

"My Kangaskhan was my pride. Why do you continue this senseless violence?"

"Shut up, you miserable old fuck.", replied Lolcat. "You've killed thousands of fucking people. You run an Arceus-damned army of killers. Don't lecture me about violence, asshole."

Giovanni did not raise his voice. "The violence I cause is minimal and calculated. Yes, people have died because of my actions. But those deaths are merely collateral; I do not wish for any more people to die. Our mission in Saffron must be executed; it is not our fault that people misunderstand our mission. Rhyhorn, get out there. Kill this bird."

"Ugh, a Rhyhorn?" thought Lolcat "Perfect time for Vaporeon to come in if Water Pulse wasn't out of PP..."

Lolcat called Fearow back and unleashed Vileplume who endured a Tail Whip on the switch.

"This is going to feel SO good..." spoke Lolcat, as he ordered a Bullet Seed to stop the beast in its tracks.

Rhyhorn did not stand a chance. Giovanni took out Rhyhorn's Ball the second the words "Bullet Seed" escaped Lolcat's mouth. The battle was over as Rhyhorn doubled over in pain.

The defeated Rocket Boss spoke with his head down and tears streaming down his face.

"Ahahahahaha! You think this battle means anything? You are one cog in the machine that is reality; one insignificant black spot in the masterpiece that is Arceus' creation! I know everything, Lolcat! My plans will not fail, Saffron will fall, and the Rocket Empire will emerge as the dominant force in Kanto! You, Lolcat, have no idea what you just did! You have dreams at night, don't you? Dreams where your life ends and your Pokemon die every time you go off to slumber? I know why you suffer every time you go to bed! We all do, and by defeating the Rockets you have damned yourself to a life of mystery and despair!"

Lolcat, not missing a beat, spoke just two simple words.

"Vileplume, kill."

Vileplume readied her Bullet Seeds, but before she could fire off an attack, Giovanni pressed a red button on the table in front of him and a trapdoor opened underneath him. Giovanni then fell down the hatch, far out of Vileplume's range.

Celadon no longer belonged to Team Rocket, but Giovanni still lived and played coy with Lolcat in their battle. Does Giovanni know about Lolcat's night terrors? Is Team Rocket more noble than it lets on?

Lolcat won the battle, but Team Rocket is winning the war.

**END OF PART EIGHT**

* * *

Team Status:

Alive:

Graveler, Lv. 31, Careful  
-Rollout  
-Magnitude  
-Rock Throw  
-Defense Curl

Vileplume, Lv. 31, Naive  
-Sleep Powder  
-Absorb  
-Bullet Seed  
-Acid

Dugtrio, Level 32, Careful  
-Dig  
-Mud-slap  
-Sand Tomb  
-Fury Swipes

Fearow, Lv.31, Jolly  
-Secret Power  
-Aerial Ace  
-Fury Attack  
-Leer

Vaporeon, Lv. 28, Serious  
-Water Pulse  
-Sand-attack  
-Quick Attack  
-Growl

Boxed:

Assorted weak Pokemon and Meowth Pickup slaves.

Dead:

Wartortle, Lv. 21  
Butterfree, Lv. 19  
Butterfree, Lv. 13

* * *

Thanks for reading! This is probably going to be the longest chapter in the story; I don't expect any more 6000 word chapters but you never know!

The next update shouldn't take as long as this one did. Please review if you liked it! Or if you didn't like it!


	10. Part 9- Halfway to the Pokemon League

I do not own Pokemon. This story is for entertainment purposes only.

* * *

**Part 9: Halfway to the Pokemon League!**

Giovanni walked slowly and confidently across his underground tunnels, thinking to himself:

"Hmm...I never thought this tunnel between Silph and Celadon would be necessary. Good thing I'm always one steps ahead. But still, that kid...he just entered my lair, disposed of all my guards, and reached me in my office. That Hideout was designed to be impenetrable. And then my battle...Even my Kangaskhan was defeated, and I didn't land a single KO. That Lolcat character must have a weakness..."

Giovanni continued walking for nearly half an hour. Even though Saffron City lies in the palm of his hand, Giovanni still could not forget that brutal loss he suffered at the hands of Lolcat. He strode into the President of Silph Co.'s office and summoned both the President and a Rocket Commander, speaking to the President first:

"Mr. Silph, you have one month to surrender your corporation's assets to me. Until then, report to your holding cell on Floor 9. "

Two burly Team Rocket guards escorted the man back to his prison. Giovanni then continued speaking to the Rocket officer:

"We're losing ground in the struggle to conquer Kanto. Though nobody will ever touch Saffron City, Team Rocket needs to make its presence known across the region...

Attack Lavender again."

Lolcat, armed with a Silph Scope taken from Giovanni's office, returned to the Pokemon Center for the night. The night was uneventful; nothing was on TV and the nightmare decided not to strike Lolcat again. The next morning, Lolcat woke up early in order to mount a challenge against Celadon's Gym Leader, Erika. Erika specializes in Grass-type Pokemon, so Lolcat moved Fearow's Ball to the front of his belt and kept Vileplume's Ball close by. If Fearow ran into problems, Vileplume would drench Erika's Pokemon in Acid.

An old man stood in front of the Gym, staring into one of the many windows. Lolcat approached the old man, who began speaking to Lolcat,

"This Gym is great! It's full of women in little gardening dresses! Though it's kind of hard to feel happy after what just happened in Lavender Town..."

Intrigued, Lolcat replied, "What happened in Lavender Town?"

"Oh, haven't you heard? Team Rocket attacked the Pokemon Tower again yesterday. It's not looking good, either. All those Rockets that got driven out of Celadon had to go somewhere, I guess..."

Lolcat dropped the Gym Challenge and hopped on his bike with Lavender Town in sight. Pokemon Tower is well fortified, and the Channelers in Pokemon Tower control powerful Ghost Pokemon. Team Rocket would have trouble taking over the Tower in a day; Lolcat could return to Lavender Town before the Tower fell into Giovanni's control.

Lolcat left Celadon City almost as quickly as he entered. The run through the Underground Path felt like an eternity, as every minute wasted traveling to the Tower was another minute Team Rocket could use to attack the innocent citizens of Lavender Town. Route 8 was no different until a passing Gambler challenged Lolcat to a Pokemon battle. The common Trainer specialized in the Water type, so Vileplume had a field day blasting the man's Poliwag and Poliwhirl to pieces.

After a few hours traversing the familiar Route 8, Lolcat arrived in the eerie city. Much to Lolcat's surprise, the streets of Lavender seemed empty even though it's late in the afternoon.

"Hmm..", Lolcat thought, "Could Team Rocket have already attacked? Are the citizens hiding, or were they...captured? Worst of all, the Pokemon Center is barricaded and bolted shut. The only open building is Pokemon Tower!"

Lolcat takes his first few steps into the tower and his eyes see pandemonium: dozens of Lavender denizens scrambling across the Tower floor in what seems to be a panic. One Channeler stood by the stairs leading up to the second floor. Lolcat began a conversation:

"Hello, ma'am. I was here about two weeks ago, what's happened since?"

The Channeler spoke to Lolcat calmly, "Team Rocket attacked Lavender Town again. I fear they are trying to expand their sphere of influence...The spirits are at unrest again, and this time...the Rockets have taken Mr. Fuji prisoner. With Fuji taken and the residents of Lavender Town either missing or seeking refuge in the Tower...I foresee bad times for Lavender Town..."

"Where are the Rockets now!?", immediately asked Lolcat

"Hmm...I have not seen any Rockets leave since they invaded today...The top of the Tower is where they are...You...You must climb the Tower in order to stop the Rockets...However...The other Channelers have been trained to attack any uninvited guest to the upper levels...I fear they might attack you...

Good luck, Lolcat...the spirits give you their blessing..."

Lolcat didn't expect to battle the Channelers along with the Rockets, but decided that wasting time at the Pokemon Center was out of the question. Hell, there's no reason to believe that the Center was even open. Placing the new recruit Vaporeon at the front of the party, Lolcat ascended the stairs to the floor where he had his duel with Blue.

After a second flight of stairs, Lolcat arrived on the third floor of the Tower. This floor, for some reason, is covered in mist or some kind of smoke. Lolcat decided that it's probably some religious incense that the Channelers use during times like this. Hundreds of tombstones litter the floor, and Channelers stand by some of the stones to challenge any intruders. There was no time to question how Pokemon were buried on the third floor of a building; Lolcat walked up to the first Channeler and a small movement occurs in Lolcat's peripheral vision...

GAAAAAASSSTLLEEEE!

Lolcat, seeing a motherf*cking ghost, cries out "VAPPY KILL KILL KILL OH MY ARCEUS IT'S A FUCKING GHOST!"

Vaporeon shoots a large ring of water that rams into the ghost, immediately sending it back to the tombstone it arose out of. After he came to his senses, Lolcat realized...

"I could have caught that thing, couldn't I?"

Vaporeon nodded.

Lolcat then speaks to the Channeler, who replies with,

"Evil Spirit! You must be a Rocket! I shall defend this Tower to the death!"

The medium possessed a Gastly, but it was swiftly knocked out by Vaporeon's Water Pulse. Lolcat proceeded on the tile floor until he reached another set of stairs. Before Lolcat could put his foot on the stair, a familiar voice stopped Lolcat in his tracks.

"Miss me, Doc?"

Lolcat swiveled his head and saw nothing. Then he dropped his head and his brain could not process what his eyes saw.

It was Wartortle.

"Why ya looking so surprised? The lady said I was on the third floor! So, how's it been the last couple months?"

Lolcat stood speechless in front of his deceased partner. The tortoise continued talking.

"So, let's see the new party. After two-thirds of us got wiped by that Dugtrio you had to put _something_, together, right Doc?"

Lolcat releases the five Pokemon from his Pokeballs.

"So, a Vaporeon, huh? I guess ya gotta replace me with something! And I'm glad that Water Pulse TM got put to good use! Us Water-types got a reputation around here, so don't be letting this Vappy get beat by a Critical, ya hear Lolcat? And whats ya got here?"

Wartortle turned towards Graveler.

"So, you're a new guy too? Ya have to be, 'cause I don't remember ya! My name's Wartortle; I was running this team until I got in a little accident with a few moles and some critical hits. Eh, it ain't so bad here though; I'm hanging with my buddy Butterfree and a couple Voltorb that got a little crazy with Selfdestruct a few weeks ago, and we keep each other company until whenever Arceus uses Judgment. Well, Graveler, just stay away from Surfs and Solarbeams and you'll be on the Championship squad in no time!"

Wartortle turned to Lolcat's middle Pokemon, Vileplume.

"Oh, a Vileplume? Doc, you've picked up a lotta new Pokemon since I left ya! Is this that Oddish we caught back when I was still around?"

Lolcat nodded.

"Ya don't say! Well, it looks like you've evolved a couple times! How's it feel to be on the main squad now? You're the only three-stager on this team right now, that must put you in charge, right? Heh, good luck Plumey, you've got a pretty damn good Trainer trainin' ya!"

Wartortle turns to Lolcat's fourth Pokemon, who he seemed a little less than happy to see.

"Oh, it's you... Dugtrio. So how's it been since ya put me here? And before ya ask, I'm not mad, not mad at all! I know you're a good egg, and if you can hit some of those Rockets the way you hit me, this world will be a better place, no?

Wartortle turned to Lolcat's final Pokemon, Wartortle's best friend, Fearow.

"Fearow! Two months and you're still flappin' your wings right into yer opponents' skulls! I bet you sent a hundred Pokemon here, so thanks for giving me some more friends, heh! Just remember, now that I'm gone you're this team's elder, so don't let the younger folk upstage you!"

Wartortle turned to Lolcat to give his final words.

"Heh, so you're still around here, eh Doc? Well, promise me after ya become Champion ya visit me again, ya hear? Well, I've eaten enough of yer time, so go on and kick some Rockets!

The deceased turtle sank back into the mist of Pokemon Tower, and Lolcat solemnly ascended the stairs to the fourth floor, unsure if that was Wartortle talking to him or just his imagination... The fourth floor contained another maze of headstones. About half a dozen Channelers stood on the floor as well, guarding the sacred ground from intruders. The first Channeler challenged Lolcat to a battle; however, her pair of Gastly were no match for Vaporeon's Water Pulses.

Lolcat slowly passed by the gravestones, blinking heavily when the mist entered his eyes. Although the floor was littered with items, Lolcat soon realized that the items lie right in the Channeler's line of sight. As soon as Lolcat bent down to pick up an Elixir, an item that he could not use,, a Channeler began to scream and charge right at Lolcat,

"Grave robber, begone!"

Before he knew it, another Gastly floated right in front of Lolcat, braced for attack. Before the Channeler could order the spirit to attack Lolcat, Vaporeon had already dispatched of it. "Hmm...", Lolcat thought, "These Channelers have definitely been terrified by the Rockets. I mean them no harm, and yet they risk their lives to stop me from saving them..."

After finishing off another Gastly, Lolcat stepped up to the fifth floor. This floor was different than the others. The headstones and mist was still there, but this time the headstones made a circular path around a blue force field in the center, which one Channeler stood in. Many other Channelers formed a ring around the circular path, and Lolcat knew that he would have to battle them.

The first Channeler stared at Lolcat with crossed eyes and an unknown Pokemon behind her. This priestess did not act like the others, but rather spoke in a loud, explosive voice as five other white-clad women giggled insanely around her.

"You...shall...join...us...", the woman spoke. Lolcat was frightened that the Rockets did such damage to the residents of Lavender Town just by kidnapping Mr. Fuji and killing a Marowak. The woman commanded the Pokemon behind her to fight, and Lolcat again retaliated with Vaporeon. The Pokemon spoke, "Haunter...Haunnnn..." before lunging at Vaporeon, who launched a Water Pulse. Though Haunter was faster than the Gastly, it still couldn't get the drop on Vaporeon before falling to one Water Pulse.

In the middle of the circular path, a lone Channeler stood in the middle of the blue rectangular space. Lolcat made eye contact with the woman, signaling a fight. The woman, instead, invited Lolcat into the field and began to speak.

"Lolcat."

Lolcat, startled, responded, "How do you know my name?!"

"Of course I know your name. Your friend Wartortle lives here. Have you forgotten what we Channelers do? Our...profession...is to talk to deceased Pokemon and to...facilitate communication between the dead and the living. He told me all about you, and warned me that the Rockets were to attack this Tower, so I created a safe zone for you and the Channelers. However, none of the other Channlelers could reach this protected ground before the Rockets attacked. You see, most Channelers rarely ever leave the Tower; I haven't left this ground in five years. They do not often see outsiders besides those that come here to visit their loved ones. When they saw the Rockets, they thought all Pokemon Trainers are like them, so they attacked you. Lolcat, if you can defeat the Rockets who reside two floors above, you can restore the minds of the Channelers and save Lavender Town. Here, step in the center of the field."

Lolcat felt a wave of calmness wash over him. His Pokeballs assumed a teal color for a moment, then reverted back to normal. The Pokemon were healed, and ready to continue the fight.

Immediately after leaving the force field, Lolcat heard in the distance,

"Zombies!" Hearing the Channeler's shriek, Lolcat used the opportunity to test Vaporeon's new Bite technique which worked quite well on Ghosts. One Channeler later, Lolcat marchedto the sixth and penultimate floor.

This floor was the mistiest yet. Lolcat, looking down and with his eyes barely open, spied a Channeler. Knowing that a Water Pokemon such as Vaporeon can see through mist , Lolcat sent the beast to battle a bloodthirsty Channeler.

Vaporeon bit at the Gastly, but by the end of the battle Vaporeon fell over with his eyes closed. Knowing that the Vaporeon sustained no damage in the battle, Lolcat approached his Pokemon and decided that the mist was to much even for a Water Pokemon to see through. The only Pokemon who could see though the mist was Fearow because of its Keen Eye, so Lolcat gave Fearow its time to shine.

After demolishing more Gastly with Aerial Ace, Lolcat stood at the base of the stairs to the top floor of Pokemon Tower. Two steps later, an invisible force smacked Lolcat's shin and the Trainer let loose an unholy yell as he tumbled down to the bottom of the stairs. Unable to see what caused the fall, Lolcat unsheathed his Silph Scope and saw a Marowak charging at him at full speed. Thinking quickly, Lolcat flung Fearow's Pokeball out and orders the bird to lift him above Marowak's reach.

Lolcat grabs onto the bird's talons and watched as the Bone Keeper Pokemon's club bashed his weapon into the floor, leaving a massive dent. If Fearow had been a second slower, Lolcat would have joined his friend Wartortle in the Tower. Fearow tdeposited Lolcat a safe distance from the Marowak and stared down Marowak, asking for a fight. Fearow was to battle the Bone Keeper for the right to summit Pokemon Tower.

Fearow moved first, slamming the Pokemon with a Secret Power. The energy from the blow knocked Marowak back, but Marowak focused on Fearow as the well-trained avian smacked it with another Secret Power. Marowak, fed up with taking hits, shot his bone at Fearow, who lazily flew up and dodged it. One more Secret Power earned Lolcat the right to enter the seventh floor of Pokemon Tower.

The peak, unlike the other floors, was not a maze. Very little mist, too. Hundreds, maybe thousands, of headstones surrounded a small circular path. Three Team Rocket grunts hovered over an old man, presumably Mr. Fuji. The old man was kneeling in front of a headstone, probably in prayer. Deciding that the only way to rescue Fuji was to ram through the Rocket Grunts one by one, Lolcat sent out Fearow and battled the first Rocket. The man's Zubat and Golbat were not Fearow's caliber, although Golbat did survive one Secret Power attack.

The second Rocket Grunt sent out a Koffing that went head-to-head with Vileplume. The flower moved first, and Absorbed a bit of Koffing's health. The Rocket donned a devilish grin.

"Koffing. Do it.", the man said.

Koffing took a deep breath, stored up poison in its body until the pent-up gasses exploded in an almighty Selfdestruct. The explosion wracked the Tower, sending two nearby headstones flying. Vileplume took the brunt of the attack. The flower immediately collapsed to the ground and lay there. Lolcat was unsure if the Pokemon would wake up. A second passed. Then two.

About four seconds later, Vileplume stood up. The Grunt's gambit had failed. In a rage, the man threw out a Drowzee. Vileplume Absorbed the Drowzee's health to recover as the Drowzee failed to scratch it. Once Vileplume had enough HP to feel comfortable, Drowzee was dispatched by Acid.

The final Rocket Grunt went up against Graveler. Graveler showed off its Rollout technique on Zubat, then another Zubat, then Rattata, then Raticate. Each fell to a single hit.

Only Mr. Fuji remained on the floor. The man spoke in a voice that contained authority and serenity even though he had just been kidnapped.

"Hm...you are here to rescue me? I'm sorry, young one, but I do not need to be rescued. I came here of my own accord when these Rockets attacked me. I simply ignored them, and they could not do me any harm. The spirits of the Tower would never allow me to be harmed by such vermin. Well, I do suppose that you went through a lot of trouble to reach the top of this Tower. I bet those Channelers didn't make it easier, either! Do not blame the Channelers for their ways; we residents of Lavender are a simple, sectarian people. This Tower has never been attacked before. Forgive the Channelers for how they reacted."

Fuji asked Lolcat to accompany him to his house in the southern half of Lavender Town. In the house, the man shared a few words with Lolcat,

"Lolcat. Your Pokedex quest will be difficult, but I bet you really don't care for catching a bunch of insignificant Pokemon especially when you're doing a Nuzlocke challenge. In fact, you seem troubled. Has something bothered you recently? The loss of a Pokemon, a nightmare, maybe you feel...watched?"

"Yes, Mr. Fuji" replied Lolcat."Ever since I started winning Badges, I've been having these nightmares. Some...voice starts speaking to me, trying to convince me to pack up and abandon my journey. Often, I see these horrific images of my Pokemon dying or being harmed. Each time I win a badge, the dreams get worse. "

'Ah. I've never dealt with this specific instance before, but in my years I have dealt with many a tortured soul. Dreams are a...fascinating concept. You know there are research facilities in Hoenn trying to read the dreams of Pokemon? There is even a facility in Unova trying to enter the dreams of Pokemon. I believe your slumber is being invaded by another man using a powerful Pokemon to do so. Pokemon like Drowzee and Hypno are capable of this, you know. However, I've never seen a man attack another man's dreams before; I wouldn't know how to...counter this phenomenon. Maybe it's all in your head? Maybe you lack the confidence to challenge the Pokemon League, and these dreams are just your repressed fears surfacing? I will research your troubles, as my job is to comfort the citizens of Lavender and those that pass through. If you are ever in the area again, please visit me. I will keep in touch. Oh, and here. This is a Poke Flute, it's a wonderful musical instrument. It'll wake up the sleeping Snorlax blocking your path, and learning the Poke Flute can help you take your mind off your journey and your troubles. Best of luck, Mr. Lolcat."

After hearing Mr. Fuji's kind words and taking his Poke Flute, Lolcat returned to Celadon City to duel Erika after a day of traveling. Lolcat checked into Celadon Pokemon Center and quickly nodded off to sleep.

The next morning, Lolcat traversed Route 8 and the Underground Path again and quickly arrived in Celadon City. Lolcat had already been to this city, so he located the Gym easily and saw that the Gym is teeming with Trainers. At least they were all female. The first Trainer was a Beauty, but no amount of beauty will protect a group of Bellsorouts from Fearow's rage.

The rest of the Gym Trainers really weren't that interesting. Imagine a small bird. Now make it twelve times bigger. Make it shoot fire out of its nostrils and have a machine gun for a beak. Now think of a little plant. A harmless, inanimate plant. The bird is Fearow. The plant is every one of the Gym Trainers.

After the massacre, Lolcat approached Erika. The lady began to speak,

"Hello, Trainer. As you know, I am the Grass Gym Leader, Erika! I use the Grass-type because of their limitless potential. Grass-type Pokemon can lead an offense, provide support with tricky tactics like Stun Spore and Sleep Powder, and restore their HP with Synthesis and Giga Drain! Yes, Grass-type Pokemon are the ultimate fighting force, and it's time to show you the pinnacle of Grass-type mastery!"

Lolcat threw out Fearow to match Erika's first Pokemon. "Oh, a Fearow. I haven't seen one of those in a while. Go Victreebel!"

The ugly flycatcher stood face-to-face with the great bird. Fearow charged the Grass Pokemon with pinpoint accuracy and jabbed it with its beak and talons, landing an Aerial Ace attack that barely failed to knock Victreebel out. Victreebel fell over, but before going down he released a mountain of Stun Spores at Fearow, whose muscles locked up and dropped Fearow out of the skies. Fearow quickly finished off the Victreebel.

Erika, distraught that her prized Victreebel fell so soon, sent out a Tangela. Fearow took a Constrict, but retaliated with an Aerial Ace that sent Tangela down for the count.

Vileplume was Erika's final Pokemon. Because of Fearow's paralysis the flower got the first strike, launching an Acid attack on Lolcat's bird. Fearow struck back with an Aerial Ace that just barely failed to knock it out, so the Vileplume went for another attack. Barely damaged at all, Fearow struckthe Vileplume again and won Lolcat the fourth Gym Badge.

Four Gym Leaders down. Four more to go.

**End of Part 9**

* * *

**Team Status:**

**Alive:**

Fearow, Level 34, Jolly.  
-Secret Power  
-Aerial Ace  
-Mirror Move  
-Fury Attack

Vaporeon, Level 31, Serious  
-Water Pulse  
-Bite  
-Quick Attack  
-Sand-attack

Dugtrio, Level 32, Careful  
-Dig  
-Fury Swipes  
-Mud-slap  
-Sand Tomb

Graveler, Level 32, Careful  
-Defense Curl  
-Rollout  
-Rock Throw  
-Magnitude

Vileplume, Level 32, Naive  
-Bullet Seed  
-Absorb  
-Sleep Powder  
-Acid

**Boxed:**

Assorted weak Pokemon.

**Dead:**

Wartortle, Lv. 21  
Butterfree, Lv. 19  
Butterfree, Lv. 13

* * *

Thanks for reading. Next chapter's going to have plenty of action, so keep your eyes peeled! Please review if you have anything to say. See you next update!


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